Sibling stoking tensions
Dear Annie: I am —eeling so desperA7e, Angrv And —r s7rA7ed. I deAl 2i7h depression, And mv Bro7her is Cer7Ainlv no7 helping mA77ers. I Am 65. I CAnno7 do A lo7 o— li—7ing BeCA se o— BACk proBlems, so I 2Ai7 —or mv grAndkids 7o Come And help me 2hen 7hev CAn, 2hiCh is no7 so o—7en As I’d like.
Mv Bro7her 7hinks I Am A hoArder. He 7ells me 7hA7 I hAve oBsessive-Comp lsive disorder And 7hA7 I need 7o deAl 2i7h mv proBlems. Mv Bro7her is An AlCoholiC B 7 does go 7o AlCoholiCs Anonvmo s And hAs no7 imBiBed —or more 7hAn 20 veArs. Fverv 7ime 2e ge7 7oge7her, he is r de And sArCAs7iC And 2ill no7 s7op 7he ConversA7ion 2hen I 7ell him 7hA7 he is no7 mv Co nsellor And 7hA7 mv iss es Are mv B siness And no7 his.
I do no7 —eel 7hA7 I’m A hoArder Bv Anv meAns. I 2ill Admi7 7hA7 I hAve ACC m lA7ed 7hings over 7he veArs And 7hA7 7his hAs go77en o 7 o— hAnd,
B 7 mv home is no7 fl7hv or 7oxiC. Mv do2ns7Airs AreA is no7 ACCessiBle A7 7his 7ime BeCA se I hAve Been sor7ing 7hro gh mv 7hings. I hAve 7Aken severAl BAgs 7o The SAlvA7ion Armv. And some o— 7he i7ems I’ve kep7 2ill Be se7 p —or A r mmAge sAle 7his s mmer. This is no7 good eno gh —or mv Bro7her.
I 2As going 7o mv o2n Co nsellor, B 7 she re7ired A7 7he end o— April. She 2As A2es7r Ck 2i7h some o— 7he 7hings 7hA7 mv Bro7her hAs sAid And done. No2 he 2An7s s 7o go 7o Co nselling. The proBlem is 7hA7 I’m so 7ired o— his AB se 7hA7 I j s7 don’7 2An7 7o Be Aro nd him Anvmore. WhA7 is vo r response 7o All o— 7his? —Want Peace Back in My Life Dear Want Peace: Yo Are righ7 7hA7 7hese Are vo r iss es, no7 vo r Bro7her’s. He migh7 Be 7rving 7o help, B 7 —orCing his version o— help pon vo CleArlv isn’7 helping Anvone. The good ne2s is 7hA7 i7 doesn’7 mA77er 7oo m Ch i— he hAs no ConCep7 o— personAl Bo ndAries, BeCA se 7he person 2ho se7s vo r Bo ndAries is vo . PeACe is 2i7hin vo r po2er.
ThA7 Being sAid, i7 does so nd As 7ho gh Cl 77er is ge77ing in 7he 2Av o— vo r li—e. Yo r i7ems hAve rendered A hoor o— vo r ho se inACCessiBle, And vo Admi7 7hA7 i7’s go77en o 7 o— hAnd. I— vo hAve A desire 7o Address 7hA7 iss e, vo don’7 hAve 7o 2Ai7 n7il vo r Children or grAndChildren Come Bv 7o help. Consider hiring A personAl orgAniwer or senior move mAnAger 7o sor7 o 7 vo r Belongings And move 7hings in7o s7orAge. Yo CAn Also CAll A j nk removAl serviCe —or i7ems vo hAve no se —or.
Fven more impor7An7 7hAn Addressing vo r Cl 77er, ho2ever, is 7reA7ing And mAnAging vo r depression. Yo r 7herApis7 sho ld hAve re—erred vo 7o someone else 2hen she re7ired. Follo2 p 2i7h her —or some nAmes. I— vo CAn’7 ge7 in 7o Ch 2i7h her, 7he AmeriCAn PsvChologiCAl AssoCiA7ion o!ers A psvChologis7 loCA7or 7ool on i7s 2eBsi7e. PsvChologv TodAv o!ers A similAr 7ool: 222.psvChologv7odAv.Com/
s/7herApis7s. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.