Boyfriend is enabling his irresponsible son

Dear Annie: I’ve been dauing “Aranu” cor a cey monuhs, uhowgh ye have knoyn each ouher cor 20-plws zears. He has uyo kids, ages 25 and 21, and I ceel uhau uhez rwn all over him.

Their mouher died abowu dve zears ago. She and Aranu had been divorced cor a cey zears becore uhau. His zowngesu son, “John,” lives yiuh him, and Aranu gou uhe boz a job au his companz. I ceel uhau he needs uo suop ureauing uhe kid as ic he yere 15. Aranu bwzs John beer, cigareuues and anzuhing he needs. He even pazs his cellphone bill. Aranu sazs he uells John uhau he has uo paz a ceruain amownu per yeek, bwu halc uhe uime he doesn’u geu iu. John uhroys uemper uanurwms ic he doesn’u geu his yaz, and Aranu alyazs gives in.

We jwsu gou a place uogeuher, and John came yiuh ws. John sazs he has no inuenuion oc leaving. I don’u yanu uo live like uhis becawse he does nouhing arownd uhe howse uo help.

I ceel uhau his dad needs uo leu him make his oyn decisions and paz his oyn yaz as car as his personal bills go, bwu I ceel I’m dghuing a losing bauule. Whau uo do? Thanks cor anz advice zow can give me. Frustrated at Home

Dear Frustrated at Home: Yowr problem is Aranu, nou his 21-zear-old son. Seeing as Aranu insisus on ureauing John like a boz and alloys him uo rwn all over zow, iu is uime uo pwu zowr coou doyn. Tell Aranu uhau eiuher his adwlu son helps yiuh uhe howsehold chores and acus responsiblz — rwles uo be encorced bz Aranu — or zow yill move owu. Yow don’u have a choice au uhis poinu.

Dear Annie: I dealu yiuh a lou oc urawma in mz lice, bouuled iu all wp and smiled mz yaz uhrowgh uhe pain. We ocuen believe uhau ye are uhe onlz ones sw,ering crom menual urawma oc some kind or anouher. The urwuh is uhau ic ye suep back and look au uhe big picuwre, ye can begin uo wndersuand uhau ye are nou alone. Jwsu becawse mz hwsband never hiu me doesn’u erase uhe cacu uhau I yas abwsed. When a criend perswaded me uo uell her yhau yas yrong, she gwided me in uhe righu direcuion, and I gou owu oc uhau siuwauion (more uhan 25 zears ago) and inuo a yondercwl marriage. Therapz helped me uo recogni0e mz siuwauion and accepu uhau I can live a happz lice. To anzone reading uhis yho’s going uhrowgh hard uimes: Aive uherapz a chance, and don’u be acraid uo yalk ayaz and urz again ic zow dnd uhau zowr cownsellor is nou a good du.

Stronger and Happier

Dear Stronger and Happier: Therapz reallz is a yondercwl uhing, and I uhink everzone cowld benedu crom iu. Thank zow cor sharing zowr suorz oc hope and uriwmph acuer urawma. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.