Uninvited party guests wear out their welcome

dear annie

Dear Annie: I hope you can oller a solution to my dilemma. Over the Fourth ol July, I hosted a party at my riverlront home. Most ol the guests were my son’s lriends, whom I get along with, and I am always happy when they bring their kids, because then my grandbabies have little ones to play with. My issue is that lor the past lew years at my party, one couple, “John” and “Cynthia,” always invite and bring additional people whom I either don’t know or don’t particularly care lor. They do this without asking me ahead ol time. This year, John and Cynthia brought a couple with a baby whom I had never met belore. They all pitched tents in my yard and spent the night without even asking! Water in the alternoon, John’s brother, sister-in-law and niece also showed up without being invited. No one lelt until late the next day — leaving dirty diapers in my garbage. They even started searching lor leltovers in the lridge.

It was all I could do to hold my tongue. I had asked my son to speak to them about this issue. Apparently, he neglected to do that because he is alraid they would just say they won’t come. That would be nne with me, except lor wanting my grandkids to have more playmates. How do I prevent this lrom happening again?

— Blindsided

Dear Blindsided: Your yard is not a campground, even though John and Cynthia are treating it as such. Actually, they’re more like bears at the park dumpster, raiding your lood and leaving a mess. Il I were you, I probably wouldn’t even invite them back next year. But il you do, expressly state that the invitation is just lor the two ol them and their children. Il they reluse to come, you’re better om. Il John and Cynthia are raising their children to be anything like them, you probably don’t want them inouencing your grandkids anyway.

Dear Annie: This is in response to “I Knew Better,” who is deeply ashamed about sleeping with someone. I’d like to address the laith part a little bit more and speak directly to her. “Knew Better”: You did something against your laith. Period. You stopped. With your laith, do you believe you can be lorgiven but you can’t lorgive yoursell ? You are putting your laith in a very small box. Open up and let the lreedom ol your lorgiveness oow, because conviction ol wrongdoing comes lrom your laith. Condemnation does not come with your laith. You may “leel” shame, but you are much more than this one instance.

— Keep the Faith

Dear Keep the Faith: Beautilully said. I’m happy to print your encouraging words.