EMOTIONAL ONE-ON-ONE W ITH A NURSE IN THE TRENCHES

Those w ho care forthe ill and inju red have earned the support of their community

A longtime friend of mine from Kirkland h as been a registered nurse for 23 years. Connie, wh o asked th at h er last name not be publish ed, works in a palliative unit.

“I became a nurse because it is very rewarding. I enjoy h elping people. Palliative care is in some respects even more so th an working in th e trauma unit. P eople are a lot more appreciative. You get to know th em at a very different level. You catch th eir loved ones at possibly th e worst time in th eir lives, yet you can still put a smile on th eir faces. Ih ave met a lot of nice, real people.”

Sh e starts to ch oke up a bit, as sh e will do th rough out th e interview, wh en sh e talks about th e suffering of families of terminal patients:

“You are about to meet your maker, so to speak, so you can’t be ph oney at th is time of your life. Th e families really need emotional support. It ry to be th ere for th em, an ear to listen, and walk th em th rough wh at to expect.”

It seems like Connie h as as much pain to alleviate in th e relatives as in th e patients.

“It’s a full plate. You dealwith both sides, doing wh at you can to make th e patients comfortable. You know th at th eir time is coming to an end, and you h ave th e family members sitting th ere wanting to h elp as well, knowing th at th eir loved one will not be around much longer and th at th eir time togeth er is precious.”

How does a nurse dealwith th at emotionally?

“You learn to appreciate wh at you’ve got in your own life. We take so many th ings for granted. My work makes me re-evaluate wh at’s important. You come h ome at th e end of a long day and th ere is a stack of mail and th e dish es are not done and you look at it alland say, ‘Yeah and so wh at?’ Your ch ildren and h usband are th ere; th ey’re alive and h ealth y, and th ose are th e important th ings in life.

“Nurses often cry on th e job. Th ey get attach ed sometimes, depending on h ow long th e patients are on th e floor. So wh en th ey h ave a moment wh en th ey are feeling down, th ey cry.

“One gentleman understandably did not want to let go of h is daugh ter. He didn’t want h er to die. He wanted everyth ing to be done at th e same time, so h e was rough on th e nurse, and sh e felt torn between th e fath er and th e patient and th e two siblings. Sh e cried.”

How does one dealwith h uman suffering day in and day out?

“You look past th at and realize you are not th e one going th rough it. You are th ere to h elp th e person. If you th ink about it and put yourself in th at person’s place you won’t get past it. You h ave to look at th e pain th ey are going th rough and realize th at th ere is noth ing we can do except to controla certain amount. Th e disease is not going to go away. I h ave to look at it as if th at person is going to be out of pain soon and th ey won’t suffer any more. Th eir body willbe free.”

Connie understands h ow th e loved ones feel. Sh e lost h er fath er 10 years ago, in th e same setting, and made a point of being th ere for h im, th e most important th ing you can do in a family.

An on th e much publicized topic of overcrowding and work stress:

“Working in th e trauma unit wh en th e emergency room is overcrowded, it affects oth er floors. We h ave to find th e beds and get patients out a little faster in order to admit new ones onto th e floor. But if you don’t h ave th e beds or th e staff, wh ere are you supposed to put th em? So it creates stress.

“Many people come to emergency for colds and th ings th at sh ould not be covered th ere.

Th ey sh ould be going to th eir doctors instead of taking up space th at belongs to someone wh o needs th e attention.

“One time, someone h ad a finger cut and h e couldn’t understand wh y th e guy wh o was h aving a h eart attack was being rush ed th rough before h im on a stretch er.

“Nurses comfort each oth er in th ese trench es. Wh o else is th ere to console th em in th eir own trauma?”

Certainly not th e government.

You learn to appreciate what you’ve got in your own life. We take so many things for granted. My work makes me re-evaluate what’s important.