Looking for a relationship in the digital age is daunting
Where art thou?
Romeo and Juliet had it easy. No internet. No dating apps. Just old-fashioned meet and fall in love.
Okay, maybe not the best example. It didn’t end so well. But anyone looking for a relationship in the digital age will know what I mean.
Tinder. Bumble. OKCupid. Zoosk. Elite Singles, Plenty of Fish. Some I don’t think I can mention in print. You can find an online site catered to every age, personality, and preference.
The list is endless and daunting. It has been many years since I opened an account with Match, the grandfather of all dating sites. But 2018 has been a year of many changes and adventures, so I thought I would give it another whirl.
Even with all the new apps and features, I remember why I got discouraged so long ago. I want to meet people and have fun. Not spend more time on my iPhone. Setting up a profile and getting started is easier than ever, but organizing a date using your dating app is a different story.
Perhaps it is the plethora of choices. It is hard to focus on one person with new messages and faces crossing your screen every time you go online. It seems that you spend more time answering questions and chatting in cyberspace than meeting face to face.
My first few experiences were eyebrow raisers. There was a man who seemed very nice but I soon learned that he is using an alias and is in a long-term relationship. I met a gentleman who on our first date wanted to know my views on giving marriage a second chance. I chatted with someone who confessed he was looking for someone with Fifty Shades of Grey preferences. I switched to a new site and promptly got matched with my ex. Ouch.
I learned that no one admits that they like to relax at home after a hard day of work. Everyone loves adventure and travel and spends all their free time climbing mountains, skydiving or trying new things. Most people don’t bother with spellcheck and many post photos taken a decade ago.
There are, however, people who are witty and smart and interesting. It just seems that they have more time to send messages than to meet. Spending my free time responding to messages feels more like work than fun.
It would be nice to have someone to manage your dating site, weed out and select possible matches, send fun and flirty messages, and arrange dates for you, so all you need to do is show up. This might be a new job opportunity. Maybe there is already an app for that.
On a personal level, I plan to revert to a low-tech, pre-internet dating strategy. I send my apologies to all those who have sent likes and smiles.
I recently attended the Strangers in the Night fundraiser in Pierrefonds and not only did I have a great time dancing under the stars to Boy George and Freddie James, but I had the opportunity to meet many interesting people. One of them walked me to my car and said we would get together and go dancing. Now that sounds promising!