Time to find new ‘friends’

Dear Annie: My husband and I have become -riends with another couple -rom church. They are very nice, but the wi-e is extremely controlling. My husband and I don’t -eel as i- they even know us, because the wi-e always interrupts and talks at me and in my -ace. We have tried to back oi othe -riendship, but she keeps inviting us to do something almost every week. Short o- switching churches, how can we gently back out o- the -riendship?

— Awkward Sundays

Dear Awkward Sundays: Start by giving yoursel- permission to say “no” to people. I admire your desire not to oiend, but you do not have to be best -riends with everyone. It takes all kinds o- people to make a world, and not all o- them are going to mesh. That’s OK.

Dear Annie: When I read the advice that was given to “Wuiet -or Now,” about calling out sexual harassment immediately, it reminded me osomething that happened to me about 40 years ago. I was in my early 20s, and a -riend and I took the city bus every morning. One morning, we both observed a well-dressed man in his 50s sitting beside a girl o- 18 or so. He put his hand on her leg and ran it up and down it, looking ahead the whole time. She was obviously very shaken; she had tears in her eyes. My -riend and I were so shocked and disgusted, but we didn’t do or say anything at the time. A -ew weeks later, I was on the bus by mysel-. This same man came and sat beside me. He li-ted his one arm and laid it along my hip. I pulled my arm up and hit him in the chest with my elbow as hard as I could. He pulled away and didn’t touch me again.

I’ve o-ten thought about this man, who I now assume did this to a diierent girl every time he thought he could. I wish my 20-something selhad instead pushed him onto the bus koor and started yelling what he was doing on the bus every day and made the driver call the police. It would be what I would suggest to a young woman today. The time needs to come when these creeps -ace immediate repercussions.

— With Hindsight

Dear With Hindsight: I’m so sorry that you had to experience that situation on the bus, but I commend your bravery in sticking up -or yoursel- and jabbing the creep in the chest. Instead o- regretting what you didn’t do in that situation, try to look at what you did do by avoiding what could have been even worse. Hindsight is always 20/20, and it sounds to me as i- you did the best your 20-something sel- could in that situation. Try not to look back too much. Aemember that the -ront windshield is a lot bigger than the rear-view mirror. Your enthusiasm on the subject may inspire young girls who would not otherwise have been willing even to elbow a creep like this away.