TOUGH CHOICES FOR MOURNERS
Restrictions on who can attend burials
Limitations on gatherings have led cemeteries to reduce the number of people who can attend burials, forcing mourners to choose who can bid a final farewell to a loved one.
Of the 10 Montreal cemeteries contacted by the Montreal Gazette, most said they allowed 10 people to attend burials. Strict social distancing guidelines are enforced, they said. But some cemeteries, including the largest in the city, only allow two people to attend a burial ceremony — a limit some see as overly strict.
“When I heard about this I was incensed and felt that it was very heartless,” said Desmond Clarke, whose mother-in-law passed away recently due to COVID -19 complications. The whole process was surreal, he said. The family was unable to visit her before she died, nor were they allowed to identify her body afterward.
He was appalled when his family was informed that the Notre-dame-des-neiges cemetery, where his mother-in-law will be buried, is only allowing two people at the burial. He understands limits on large groups, he said, but a two-person limit was restrictive, he argues, and will prevent even close relatives from saying a final goodbye. “In our case, my wife will not be going to the burial of her own mother, so that’s a sad state of affairs,” he said.
The Notre-dame-des-neiges cemetery is the largest in Canada. It extends across one and a half square kilometres on the side of Mount Royal. It is run by Fabrique de la Paroisse Notre-dame, a Montreal non-profit organization that also manages Notre-dame Basilica.
Because it is so large, about 125 families come each week to perform burials, according to Daniel Granger, a spokesperson for the cemetery. They usually come to bury their loved ones between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m., he said, meaning that during those peak hours, the main cemetery paths could become congested, making social distancing more difficult.
At the start of the pandemic, the cemetery had allowed groups of 10 people at burials, but maintaining physical space between large groups was difficult, Granger said.
“We discovered that it was really very difficult to respect the limitations and the distance that we had to respect for human reasons,” he said. “We fully understand why. They hug each other. They come next to each other. It’s a very tough moment, so it’s kind of difficult to be far from loved ones and family members.”
After discussions with public health officials, the limit was reduced, Granger said. The cemetery also isn’t allowing visits. People can’t come to pay their respects or drop flowers at headstones, though some other cemeteries do allow visits. “These days, since we have so many people coming for a burial, it’s kind of difficult to accommodate (people) just to visit,” he said.
The cemetery ceased burial operations briefly in early April after two managers tested positive for COVID -19.
Granger said the cemetery has noticed an uptick in the number of burials. It’s hard to say how many more people are dying now than usual, he said, but in the past few weeks, the cemetery had buried about 60 people who had died of COVID-19. “The number of people dying in the Montreal area is larger than it used to be,” he said, “of course because of what’s happening in all these CHSLDS.”
There is no set rule on how many people can attend a funeral according to Annie Saint-pierre, the director-general of the Corporation des thanatologues du Québec, a trade organization for funeral homes and cemeteries.
“There are no legal limits required by public health other than social distancing,” she said. “However, some funeral homes and cemeteries have established boundaries based on their own policies.”
In our case, my wife will not be going to the burial of her own mother, so that’s a sad state of affairs.