Love can lead to happiness
Dear Annie: You are on target in your advice concerning the woman who was hurt by not being notified about her cousin’s death. Two things have caused me to be a happier person. One is dropping my expectations of others, and the other is choosing not to be offended.
People generally don’t set out to hurt other people. They are encased in their own pain and trying to navigate through their own rough waters.
Those who would set out to cause pain are not worthy of our tears. I realized also that people cannot read my mind on what I want. So it’s best to give them what we need, which is love. Love lavishly, including those who are unlovable. Be thoughtful. Give encouragement and sincere compliments. Still Learning
Dear Still Learning: Thank you for your wise words. True wisdom comes when you realize how little in the world you really know and you are forever a student of life. Seeing the world through love and compassion always leads to a happier life for you.
Dear Annie: In response to the letter regarding a request to wear socks at a party to preserve wood floors, such a request should always be accompanied by a statement of understanding that such an act is not possible for some guests.
As a wheelchair user, I could not take my wheels off my chair. And some people can’t walk without their shoes, or they need to use a walker that scrapes the floor.
We will never have a welcoming society for all if hosts create home features that they value over the ability of some guests to visit and enjoy their company. This is a sad example of prioritizing things over people. Good Guest in Kansas
Dear Good Guest in Kansas: Thank you for the reminder that not everyone can take their shoes off. A wheelchair should be an obvious exception. If a host complains about a wheelchair, I say that person is not worth visiting at all!
Dear Readers: We had some differing opinions on my response to Don’t Call Me Dear. Here is one of them.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from Don’t Call Me Dear, and I agree with her that it is demeaning. The reason I can tell is that people only started calling me “honey” and “sweetheart” once I got enough wrinkles. These “terms of endearment” are the ones we use with children, and that is why I find it insulting. I am 66 years old. I have asked the nurses at my doctor’s office to quit referring to me this way to no avail.
Unfortunately, I fear there is nothing to do about this. It’s just another irritation of advancing age that must be endured.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at creators.com.