Unwilling to change his cheating ways
Dear Annie: My husband has a long history of being unfaithful to me. He says that it isn’t cheating because he can’t help himself. I’ve forgiven him five times. Recently, I discovered that he’s been going to a website where a girl talks to him on a webcam. In exchange for their virtual time together, he buys her jewelry, clothes and other presents.
I never usually pay attention to the phone bill, but this month I looked — and I found out he’d sent and received more than 17,000 text messages. He was exchanging texts with women he’d met on a dating site. He said that it isn’t cheating since he’s not having sex. But I think the emotional cheating is worse. Should I just divorce him and walk away?
— Mrs. Undesirable
Dear Mrs.: I refuse to call you that “U” word because your husband’s behaviour is no reflection on you. If anything, it shows that he has issues around his own desirability. Perhaps he’s so insecure he must constantly seek the validation of women he hardly knows — and/or he’s suffering from sex addiction. If your husband shows no willingness to change his behaviour, then leaving may be the best course.
Dear Annie: I have a male best friend. He’s been married a while now, but he’s said before as though he feels I’m really his wife. I think the world of him; I love our long conversations. And I notice that he never brings up his wife around me. What should I do? —Burning in North Carolina
Dear Burning: Stop, drop and roll on out of this man’s life so you can get on with your own. He is using you to avoid working on his marriage. And why would you want to be with a man who treats his wife that way? You deserve to be with someone who gives you his all.
Dear Annie: I wanted to respond to the letter from “Excuse You,” who complained that her new boyfriend burps constantly after eating. My husband of 36 years also had that problem for the first 20 years of our marriage. I also thought it was just a rude habit, but then I read it could be a symptom of acid reflux or an inefficient digestion of food (indigestion). I gave him a good probiotic every day for a couple of months to build up the “good” bacteria in his gut and I could see the difference within the first two weeks. He continues to take probiotics, but only a couple of days per week. The burping is gone.
— Joyce
Dear Joyce: Probiotics have indeed been shown to sometimes help improve a range of digestive and gastrointestinal issues, of which acid reflux is one. I would urge anyone to first speak with his or her doctor before deciding on the best course of action.
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