Montreal Gazette

Sister's wedding snub her mistake to make

- ANNIE LANE

Dear Annie: My youngest daughter, Marta, is beautiful and caring but intellectu­ally challenged. I have always encouraged all my kids to do what makes them happy, and she's no different.

A couple of years ago, she met a wonderful man named Brian through mutual friends. After dating for almost a year, they married last fall.

We couldn't ask for anyone more caring and giving. Brian makes Marta his first priority as a spouse, partner and friend in his life.

The reason I'm writing: My second-youngest daughter Elle, who is 27, is getting married this fall and wants to invite Marta but not Brian.

Elle and her fiancé would have preferred to just get married at the courthouse. But they're doing the wedding his parents want (spending money that's supposed to be saved for a down payment on a house). Elle has been stressed out about it from the outset.

They said they're only inviting people they talk to regularly and that Brian isn't someone they talk to regularly.

Brian and Marta were already saving up money for both of them to go. Additional­ly, Marta isn't capable of getting there herself because of her aforementi­oned disability.

I said all this to Elle, but she still said Brian can't come.

I said, “Then maybe we won't come, either, because it's not fair that you're treating your sister this way.” Now Elle isn't talking to me or Marta and has blocked me online.

Am I wrong here? I think it would be wrong to exclude her brother-in-law.

Wedding Woes

Dear Wedding Woes: You're not wrong, but you can't force them to do what's right. Though it does strike me as odd to exclude a brother-inlaw, this isn't my wedding — and it's not yours, either. If Elle and her fiancé don't want to invite Brian, that's their mistake to make.

They may not see this as a big deal or understand how hurtful such a snub can be.

Dear Annie: In this day and age, when one has to be constantly aware of scams, I find it terribly annoying to receive phone calls from people who don't identify themselves when they call. Often when my wife and I get phone calls from fundraisin­g groups or even from doctors' offices and the like, they ask for my wife or me immediatel­y, without first identifyin­g themselves. What's the deal?

Who's Calling

Dear Who's Calling: I'd say the decline of phone etiquette correspond­ed with the rise of cellphones and, specifical­ly, texting. I completely agree that it's impolite not to identify yourself when someone answers your phone call.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonist­s, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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