Not dwelling on divorce makes life much better
Dear Annie: I had a terrible marriage and acrimonious divorce. My husband was so angry and vindictive that he lost custody of the kids. Obviously, I’d like my next love to be better. When I date and men ask, I tell them that I’m happy to briefly discuss why I divorced, but that I like to live my life forward. The best revenge is to live happily-ever-after. Planning a Happy Future.
Dear Happy Future: The front windshield is a lot larger than the rear-view mirror, and when we realize that, we are a lot happier in life. Onward and forward.
Dear Readers: As spring gives way to summer and nicer weather affords us the opportunity to reconnect with friends and family over vacation visits and holiday gatherings, I am reprinting a letter below from last summer. Perhaps it will offer some of you guidance if relationships have strained.
Dear Annie: For years, I have tried to have a relationship with my two daughters-inlaw, and at some point, I finally gave up. Now, when we get together, the family gatherings are not horrible. But at best, they are superficial.
It is very difficult to have conversations when they text nearly the entire time — which I never address — or converse back and forth between each other and ignore me.
When the holiday or event is over, then it’s goodbye with a kiss and a hug and out the door until the next major birthday or holiday. I have, in the early years, tried to meet them for lunch — on my dime — or go shopping, but they have always respectfully declined.
This apathy has carried over into my grandchildren. All of them are so close and personable with the other grandparents, who are wonderful people, and I do understand how daughters are just naturally close to their moms, so it stands to reason that the grandkids would be closer to them since more time is spent there.
I feel loved at a distance and pray for a better connection and relationship. I am thankful for the moments I have had. At least they haven’t gone out of my life completely.
Grieving Grandmother
Dear Grieving Grandmother:
You are wise to be grateful for the good moments you have had. In the meantime, where are your sons? I would suggest that you take them to lunch, rather than your daughtersin-law, and let them know that you are feeling left out.
Along the same lines, if your daughters-in-law are texting and ignoring you during a holiday dinner, why not use that as an opportunity to talk to your sons and grandchildren?