Neighbour is missed

Dear Annie: My neighbour, who has become one of my very best friends, just moved to a city four hours away. I’m devastated. We used to meet up nearly every night for a cocktail on the porch or a walk around the neighbourhood. We both promised to keep in close touch, but I have barely heard from her at all in the month that she has been gone. I feel like I have been tossed aside, that she was only friends with me out of convenience. I’m not sure what to do.

Left Alone

Dear Left Alone: That’s lovely that you live in such a neighbourly community. Do you have other neighbours you get along with? Perhaps you could get to know them better by bringing over baked goods or organizing a block party.

In terms of your relationship with your neighbour who moved away, try to give her some grace. Moving is stressful. Once she is settled in her new place, why don’t you give her a call and make plans to visit her?

Dear Annie: I’m writing regarding Three’s Company, who feels uncomfortable around her future brotherand sister-in-law and their girlfriend who now lives with them and their children. You were correct to say that only the people involved know what really goes on in a relationship. I am sure you will hear from others, but polyamory can mean long-term, committed relationships. Just because they don’t look like what the concerned sister-inlaw believes they should look like doesn’t make them wrong and it doesn’t mean they are doomed. If the couple was already dealing with infidelity beforehand, as was mentioned in the letter, then monogamy was not working for them. Maybe consensual non-monogamy will work for them if they are being open about what they need.

Many poly people actively spend time learning to better communicate with their partners. I have been in a loving polyamorous relationship for 24 years. My partners care for me and support each other when I have been seriously ill. Even the nuns in the nursing home I was in for a while said they had never heard of it before but that I had the best support system they had ever seen.

Three’s Company should consider supporting her sister-in-law, and maybe she will learn that love may look different for the thruple, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Also, the children may now have another trusted adult to turn to when they need help with homework or are frustrated with their parents. Love is beautiful in many forms.

Pleased to Be Poly

Dear Pleased: Thank you for sharing your insights. You’re right that there is an abundance of love out there, and it looks different for everyone.