CORNER Ask A Geezer
The wedding is in a few weeks and it promises to be one of the best social events of the year. One of Liarton’s favorite sons is getting hitched to one of Liarton’s favorite daughters; this town hasn’t been this excited since the pothole of doom at the four way stop was filled last spring. This beautiful young couple are lifetime Liartonians and are childhood sweethearts…of course. The preparations continue but last weekend was the part of the wedding celebration that could possibly be the most important of the whole event, the stag party and the shower. These pre-wedding parties are very important for “elders” and “friends” to offer support and heartfelt advice, some of which may even be taken. For some reason I have never been invited to a wedding shower, probably because I am too eager to hold the towel, but I can imagine wise advice being given to the bride even if no one actually gets wet. The Stag party was a fairly tame affair; the focus being a “gentlemen’s” affair (there were no strippers). That is probably a good thing, as again, I am too eager to participate….sigh. The evening was to be a night of cards, conversation, cognac and comedy and lived up to the billing. There were six tables of poker and such, which doesn’t interest me; there was a full bar featuring a few brands of cognac (the father of the grooms favorite drink), which again didn’t interest me. The big screen TV in the corner was playing the 1972 Summit Series; even that did not interest me because I have seen it many times and Canada always wins. But there was a microphone set up for the telling of jokes and the giving of advice for the grooms upcoming “big day” and that interested me!
The jokes were terrible and seemed to get worse as the booze flowed but a lot of the advice given by the older guys was not only valuable and accurate in its wisdom but funnier than the jokes. I will not name names to protect the innocent (and the guilty) but I will share some of the wiser words of wisdom shared that evening. A neighbour began with a quote from a wise old man, himself, but I really think Dean Martin said it. He said, “Good judgement comes from experience and a lot of experience comes from bad judgement.” After a brief moment of cognac fueled thought, he received a standing ovation and a round of hearty guffaws. The one thing about old guys and geezers is that they are old guys and geezers. This gives them a whole lot of time to remember and recall other people’s quotes and occasionally come up with an original. He said his quotes were original, but when Dusty Miller…oops no names, gave his speech of inspiration and wisdom, he went all “cowboy”. One of his cowboyisms was, “if you sat in the middle of the pickup truck bench seat up, you would never have to get out to open or close a gate.” My word of wisdom to the groom was to eagerly do the first load of shared laundry and mix the reds with the whites while washing, which means you may have to wear pink clothes for a while but you will never be tasked with the laundry again.
The wise advice gained from the ramblings of old guys and geezers will definitely help the young groom in his future…or these pearls of wisdom could scare him away from wedded bliss. Time will tell…the wedding is close at hand.