Baby steps

Most often, when the new year rolls around, I am setting goals and getting inspired to make some changes to my life. Yet four years ago, I was nowhere near feeling inspired. For two months previous to the turn of the year, and two months afterwards, I lived in a dark hole of depression and almost turned my back on God. It scared me how fast I could fall away from Him. I avoided all prayer, reading of the Word, listening to worship songs, preaching or being in church. I was very, very low. I also avoided people as much as possible. During this time, I still wrote this column. It was all I could do to hang on. I know God spoke through my hands even when I had nothing to give.

When Jan. 1 rolled around that year, I had no joy. No anticipation. No dreams. Everything in me had died it seemed. However, I knew enough that how I started something indicated how I would finish it; I didn’t want to end my year the same way I had started it. There was a black wooden rustic shelf that hung by our entrance that held keys and mail and also had a small little place for a chalkboard. It took everything I had in me to write some words of vision on that little 6 x 6 inch sign. “2014 is my turnaround year.” Simple as that. I didn’t wish it. I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel like it. Yes, I knew there was power in my declaration. It was a baby step of faith. I knew that verse held true: “without vision people perish. According to Habbakuk 2:2 & 3 it says: “And the Lord answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. ” Faith doesn’t work because you feel full of faith. There are principles of faith; just as there are principles of gravity. Just because you don’t ‘feel’ like it, gravity still works. The same with faith; faith without works is dead. Every day I saw that declaration in front of my eyes. I didn’t believe it when I first wrote it, but it was before my eyes and began to change my heart.

Almost two months later, I took another extremely hard, baby step kneeling by my couch and saying “God help me.” That was where it started. Another baby step of faith. From there, God began a gentle surgery within. Over time, I saw Him direct my paths to connect with others who could walk me through healing. The road seemed so long but I look back and I see God’s loving hand was guiding me all along. All it took were baby steps. Maybe you find yourself where I was. Too far gone. In a place of not even caring about life... Maybe you’ve given up on dreaming. Maybe you’re in the dark and see no light. All it takes is one grueling step. And then ...another step and eventually a few steps and you will look back to see God has taken you through and brought you out the other side. He has a pathway of healing for you! This is your turnaround year dear ones! 2018 is your turnaround Year! Praying for you...