CORNER Training For the Olympics

Once a Boy Scout, always a Boy Scout with the motto, “Be Prepared”, so when the Olympics started I really thought I was prepared. I had cleaned the satellite dish of any snow that might produce “snow” on my big screen TV and made sure the small screen TV in the bathroom was operational. Televisions in the other rooms were cleaned and the remote batteries in all the units were replaced. I cleaned and vacuumed my reclining easy chair (once a year whether it needs it or not), topping off the chair’s spa treatment with a spray or two of WD 40 for quick exits and quiet operation. A pantry filled with snacks, goodies, soft drinks and a few flats of beer should keep my personal Olympic spirit spirited. Top that off with a few Canadian flags, a team Canada hat and jersey and I was totally prepared but my Olympic vocabulary was definitely not. I needed a translater. One of the first moments I knew that I did not know what the announcers were talking about was when the Slopestyle Snow Boarders were sliding, flipping, twisting and spinning but that wasn’t how the announcers were describing these incredible moves. The announcers, who sounded like teenagers, kept using phrases that I thought were worthy of a gold medal and although I never understood a single word, it was kind of like poetry. They said, “He landed a switch leftside triple cork 1440 mute grab” and if it was set to a drum beat I am sure I could dance to it. After translation, what they were if fact saying was, “The athlete approached the jump backwards (switch), spun to his left (leftside), then simultaneously did three inverts (triple cork) and four 360 degree rotations (1440) while holding his snow board with his hand (mute grab). The judges scored the flips and turns by 180 degree increments and for me that means a lot of math so I trust the judges to get it right without me having to do the “goesin-tas”. Once again my 4 years of grade 8 math failed me. I figure-skated when I was a kid so I understood a lot of the lingo and slang but the terms were simpler then and they did not have numbers associated with them. For instance, I was able to land an Axel (on a good day) but now-a-days an Axel is not even considered unless it is a triple; the same goes for Salchow’s, Lutz’s and Flips. All these competition-proven jump maneuvers are named after the first skaters to complete and use them in competitions. Axel Paulson had the Axel named after him; a Salchow after Urich Salchow and the Lutz jump, or in my case the Klutz jump, was named after Alois Klutz…er Lutz. As for the Flip I cannot find who it was named for, perhaps Flip Wilson? It is a good thing that those are some uncommon names or the modern figure skaters might be doing jumps named the Fred or the John.

I have one suggestion/question about the team figure skating competition. Why not have the teams on the ice at the same time wearing their country’s jerseys and let them compete with full contact. That’s Olympic entertainment!

I am always proud to sing my national anthem but especially when a Canadian athlete or athlete has won an Olympic Championship. The past few weeks I seemed to be singing quite a few times and other than my eagerness to belt out the most beautiful song in the world there is one constant that I cannot control. I cannot, for the life of me, remember the “new” words to an old favorite song… but practice makes perfect!