The Stigma Around Death & Dying

When people ask what it is I do for a living, the reaction to hearing I am a Funeral Director is usually of two different camps. The first being a lack of understanding as to why anyone would ever want to do what I do, and the other is curiosity of the unknown. When I first told my family, I wanted to be a Funeral Director they were confused and concerned. I really couldn’t blame them; our past funeral culture has really had a smoke and mirrors kind of effect on how the average person views death and the Funeral Industry. Over the years, Funeral Homes have been encouraged to really shelter families from all that happens between the time of death and the actual funeral. I have learned that some of us were really stuck in a position of looking through a cultural lens, afraid of the realities of death and dying. I also began to understand that my peers were not as planted in the same negative thought spirals as some of the generations before us. Friends and acquaintances alike would begin to search me out with questions about my experiences. The Funeral Industry is and has been going through a bit of a renaissance period, with fewer and fewer people looking at traditional burial and church ceremonies. We have been seeing an increase in cremation, and more creative personalized services. We have had this amazing opportunity to help people have a more balanced relationship with death after a century of disconnect. Families have endless options like turning cremated remains into diamonds, or shooting them into space, they can have DNA samples collected and stored for future generations, fingerprints can be taken and set into jewellery. There are even hints of emerging interest in green burial, alkaline hydrolysis (water cremation), and even things as obscure and controversial as Mushroom Suits and Recomposition. No matter what choices the family decides to make, all that really matters is they’ve had the opportunity to honor a loved one’s memory in a way that is meaningful to them and their loved one. We are learning to be educators and not just Funeral Directors. It is really exciting to have the oppor- tunity to help people have a better relationship with death. We are teaching them how to have those conversations about their wishes before its to late; how to be more involved in the planning and processes, when they experience the loss of someone close to them; how to pursue support systems in their times of grief; and how to be better informed and make sure the choices made for them in their passing reflects the way in which they have lived their lives. Funeral Directors can’t take away the loss our clients are going through, but we can be a guiding hand. With every family we serve, I hope that the time they spend with me and others in my line of work can make the hardest times in their lives just a little bit easier. So… Why would I want to be a Funeral Director? I am passionate about this field where we are teaching people to ask questions, and to have a more honest and healthy relationship with their own mortality. I am passionate about bringing meaningful ceremony into the services we provide for our families. I am passionate about being part of a generation of people working towards removing the stigma around death and dying.