Taking the Trudeau symphony on a world tour
Replace the plane, and other tips for new PM
Justin Trudeau didn’t list “conductor” on his resumé when he applied for the job of prime minister, but he’s been playing Ottawa beautifully since his swearing in.
He is enjoying a honeymoon not seen since the heady days of President barack Obama, who received a Nobel Prize for being elected. Now it’s time to see if Trudeau can take his honeymoon on a world tour: next up are the Group of 20, Asia-Pacific economic Co-operation (APEC) meeting, and the Commonwealth and the united Nations climate summits.
It’s no surprise the folks at the department of Global Affairs are excited: they no longer have to lead uncomfortable discussions for Stephen Harper, a man for whose views they never truly cared. The good old days of “go along to get along” — apologies, “honest broker” — are back and many a cocktail will be raised around the plenary table.
What should Justin Trudeau expect on his first global sojourn?
First up: your plane. It’s a piece of junk. Whoever named it the “Taj mahal” has never been to the Taj mahal. If your wife didn’t like the look of 24 Sussex or the cut of chef Tim Wasylko’s jib, she’s going to loathe this bucket of bolts and its “food.”
you’ve already decide to renovate 24 Sussex, so go ahead and bite another bullet, and replace the aging Airbus. believe me, the press will love it. (They’ll also love the back of the plane scrum I’m sure you’re planning, just to prove you’re not Harper.)
Speaking of the press, international travel makes them ornery. They must be fed, watered and newsed at all times or else they’ll start plotting.
The G20 is your first meeting. This group meets (ostensibly) to discuss the global economy. but since Canada hosted in 2010, it has discussed anything but the economy. don’t
Indeed, the biggest thing you have going for you here is you’re not Harper
worry about brushing up on your economic jargon, the press will care more about your bilats than your summiteering.
but in case you hadn’t noticed, the global economy is looking pretty sketchy, so anything you can do to get leaders talking about the economy would be useful. Ha ha, who am I kidding? The meeting is being hosted in Turkey. That’s right next to Syria. Guess what you’ll be talking about?
Next up is APEC in manila. beg off sick because the bogor Goals (don’t worry, nobody else has heard of them either) aren’t worth your time. besides, the Trans-Pacific Partnership has neutered this gathering. If you have to go, spend your time riding jeepneys and getting good material for the Pinoy community back home.
They’ll be delighted to see you at the Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting in malta. There’s a simple reason: you foot a ginormous chunk of the bill. Truth be told, this has become a useless meeting, too. The group is supposed to be a forum for democracies, but too many of our Commonwealth “partners” are drifting toward dictatorship. And no, I’m not talking about Harper. I mean dictator dictators (think: Zimbabwe’s robert mugabe).
Finally, we have Paris. They will be thrilled to have you here, too. For one thing, the global climate community responds much better to Liberal inaction on climate change than they do Conservative temporizing. At least you say the right words.
Indeed, the biggest thing going for you here is you’re not Harper. you can do exactly as he was planning to do and you will be applauded all the way down the ChampsÉlysées. There is no need for dramatic action (that’s for the u.S., Australia and China to take on coal), or to hastily blast Canadians with new taxes, so resist the urge. Trust me, it will be fine. everybody will be tickled pink with the shift in “tone.”