THE BEST RIDDANCE IS LASTING
There’s one at every social function: a human barnacle who has a talent for spotting the most influential, wealthy, well- connected people in the room and sticking to them through hell or high water in an attempt to elevate their social status. How do you shake free of their shackles?
The first step to ditching a social climber is to recognize a social climber.
The most talented of this lot aren’t easy to spot; they’ll greet you with a seemingly genuine smile that can at first seem endearing at a cocktail party full of casual acquaintances and strangers.
Luckily, it doesn’t take long for their true personality to show through. They drop names like Drake drops dollar bills at a strip club. They shamelessly use any opening to invite themselves into your life. The conversation tends to centre around them, their goals and how important/ stylish/monied they claim to be. They more than likely self-identify as something no sensible person would ever call themselves: “influencer,” “socialite,” “the Carrie Bradshaw of 2017.” They claim to only hang out at the most exclusive restaurants and bars. Within minutes of meeting you, they want to capture the moment for Instagram. They’ll happily accept free rides, drinks and dinners but never offer to reciprocate.
Once you’ve identified this type of partygoer, your next step is to escape. This is no easy task as they are a determined, shameless breed who are conveniently blind to normal social cues. Allowing a lull in conversation, or even glancing at your phone won’t be enough. Your best bet is to make an excuse, such as needing to get food, heading to the washroom or needing to speak with a colleague.
It’s always a good plan to have an “emergency” signal for friends or a spouse to rescue you from such situations. Remain polite as you make your exit, but don’t overcompensate by agreeing to future plans. They will hold you to them, no matter how vague. Instead, mention how busy work is, future travel plans or a busy social calendar to lay the groundwork for future unavailability.
As long as you refrain from outright rudeness, there’s no reason to feel guilty about ditching a social climber. The best way to avoid hurt feelings on both sides of the equation is to cut them off as early as possible.