SODA- LICIOUS
EFFERVESCENT HYDRATION OF CARBONATED WATER IS NOT GOING OUT OF STYLE
Across the aisle from t he nut butters at Whole Foods, t he subtle contradiction of metallic pastel is unmistakable. A large mountain of cans arranged in a pattern of pinks, greens, yellows and peachy hues beckons like a glowing flame, making moths of anyone who should pass.
As one approaches they’ l l notice that each can shares a unifying blue logo. The messy cursive font looks like a sixthgrader was hired to design it in 1998 Microsoft Paint. “LaCroix,” it reads.
The American sparkling water brand has been notoriously difficult to find in Canada. After developing a palate for it while visiting the United States, many Canadians have been left quietly devastated by its unavailability north of the border. The seltzer isn’t drastically different from flavoured Perrier or several other sparkling water brands regularly available here, but there is something about guzzling LaCroix that inspires a cultlike following among its drinkers — myself included.
Last year T- shirts that read “LaCroixs Over Boys” became an internet sensation. New York artist Chloe Wise erected multiple paintings depicting the signature pastel seltzer cans. Tickets to a LaCroix- themed art class, where attendees learn how to paint their own LaCroix cans, sold out in seconds. The pamplemousse flavour in particular spurred the creation of countless memes dedicated to the wonder beverage.
The seltzer originated in La Crosse, Wis., in 1981, becoming the go- to drink for soccer moms in the 1980s and ’ 90s. But today LaCroix devotees continue to jockey for the position of original LaCroix fan. In 2014 comedian Joe Mande made himself the unofficial spokesperson for the sparkling water company until LaCroix issued him a cease-and-desist letter. Earlier this year Broadly declared: “Florida girls are pissed that hipsters stole LaCroix from them.”
LaCroix isn’t the first seltzer to inspire such rabid fandom. 2015 saw Polar Water enjoy similar success after consumers found themselves romanced by the use of natural citrus rinds and fruit oils to create their calorie- free flavours. The high sulphur content of Italian mineral water San Pellegrino has created its own fan base of health- seekers who believe the water to be healthier than other seltzer alternatives.
In an unrelated category of devotees, San Pellegrino cemented i t self as t he l uxury water of choice when wealthy vacationers began posting Snap- chat stories featuring themselves brushing their teeth with the pricey mineral water while on tropical vacations in order to avoid contracting stomach viruses. San Pellegrino has also engaged in a decades- long competition with French sparkling water brand Perrier about whose effervescence is superior. Globalization may have helped train our palates to leap effort- lessly from the flavours of spicy lamb korma to the rich coconut fish broth of khao soi, but every good gastronome knows that, when it comes to matters of seltzer, you have to pick one.
Despite these limitations, fizzy water has fit into the growing trend of bottled water, and has become more popular than it has ever been. In 2000, the average American drank fewer than 17 gallons of bottled water per year, according to research conducted by the Beverage Marketing Corporation. Cut to 2015, and we have more than doubled our bottled- water intake, guzzling an average of 37 gallons annually. The global sparkling water market is expected to continue growing over three per cent from 2016 to 2020, according to a report by market research company Technavio.
Amid this growth, the branding of each variety of seltzer has remained highly specific. Taking a youthful slug of LaCroix has come to feel like the gastronomic equivalent of applying a cooling, anti-aging serum under your eye. Reaching for a bottle of Pellegrino promises to infuse even the most mundane of moments with an air of refined luxury.
Beyond offering a healthy alternative to soda, the endless varieties of fizzy, sugar- free hydration available today provide an opportunity for the construction of self-image.
In an era where dietary restrictions and allergies reign supreme, seltzer is one of the only consumable goods that affords everyone the opportunity for personal preference. Its caffeineand sugar- free qualities encourage drinkers to shamelessly guzzle gallons without the peaks and crashes associated with coffee or soda. It also goes well with virtually every meal, and even the flavoured versions offer only a pale shadow of berry, stone fruit or citrus that do not get in the way of other foods.
It may spur cultlike followings among drinkers, but at its core seltzer is one of the most inclusive foodstuffs available. While we may not be able to agree on a specific brand, we have seemingly reached a consensus that a glug of effervescent hydration from carbonated water is a deeply satisfying experience — no matter where its label or where it’s found in the supermarket aisles.
AT ITS CORE, SELTZER IS ONE OF THE MOST INCLUSIVE FOODSTUFFS AVAILABLE.