TRAVEL ESCAPES

While some airlines, hotels, restaurants and hosts cater to children; others plainly don’t want anything to do with the li’l anklebiters Sabrina Maddeaux

For some, seeing a child in a fivestar hotel is more horrifying than spotting a rodent

It’s the finest place in Paris to treat yourself to a $ 1,000 dinner. Swathed in gold and softened with a showering of crimson blooms, a sizeable chunk of the Four Seasons Hôtel George V’s $ 1 million-a-year flower budget scents a restaurant so opulent it would please Louis XIV. Le Cinq is one of a handful of 3-Michelin star restaurants in the city of lights. It serves dishes like a line- fished sea bass with caviar and buttermilk alongside Australian beef covered in truffled mozzarella. Among the usual litany of corporate executives, socialites and adept foodies, you may find something unexpected milling about the restaurant: a child.

This isn’t a case of Richie Rich gone rogue or a breach of protocol by overly entitled parents; Le Cinq is one of a growing handful of Michelin star restaurants that offers a kids’ menu. Dishes include Iberian beef hamburgers, croquemonsieurs and even chicken nuggets. After their meal, children can indulge in Four Seasons child- size bathrobes, hands- on pastry making workshops, tours of secret passageways and even excursions to the Paris Opera Ballet. Children of all ages aren’t just welcome, they’re encouraged to explore and play at one of Paris’s most refined hotels.

For some, the idea of a youngster in a Michelin- star restaurant or five-star hotel is more horrifying than spotting a stray rodent. After all, who wants to deal with a ( potentially) screaming, slobbering, spilling miscreant when shelling out a month’s rent on a meal? Beyond fancy restaurants, there are some amongst us of the mindset that children should be banned from any eatery that doesn’t boast a ball-pit. While child-friendly and child- free zones used to be strictly defined, the lines are blurring.

Operas, ballets and theatre are all fair game for pint- sized critics, as are business- class seats on planes and luxury spas. Dinner parties, weddings and cocktail parties are expected, by some, to be allage events. For others, the presence of a child at a traditionally adult gathering is greeted with the same sort of reaction a package of anthrax might receive.

The question of where kids do or don’t belong has never been a hotter topic. A new generation of parents seems determined that their children share in every part of their lifestyle – no matter how their inclusion affects others. They remain devoted to ensuring their kids not endure the same angst-ridden youths they did. That instinct, combined with tough economic times, has resulted in a parenting culture that can generously be described as competitive (and more accurately described as all-encompassing insanity).

For such parents, child- free occasions and establishments aren’t merely a preference or inconvenience; they’re highly personal insults. Some would rather not attend a dinner party or wedding at all than leave their kids at home. Dress your newborn in pint- sized Prada all you like, but should you assume your kids are welcome everywhere? There seem to be mixed messages coming from all corners, with some establishments determined to cash in on the trend while others prioritize old- fashioned adult customers.

Things are only getting more complicated when it comes to travel. After a flurry of restaurants controversially banned youngsters in recent years and some theatre chains have said kids aren’t welcome after 6 pm, adults- only hotels have become one of the hottest travel trends. In addition, Malaysian Airlines banned kids under 12 from premium seats and Richard Branson expressed interest in segregated kids’ cabins for Virgin Airlines. The trend should have been seen coming as the internet is littered with people seeking advice on how to delicately throw a child-free dinner party or tell friends that their wedding will be an adults-only affair.

On the other hand, some luxe hotels are creating entire children’s programs. Airlines such as EVA, Etihad and Emirates offer Hello Kitty-themed food, animal blankies and personal nannies. A New Yorkbased kiddie dining club rents out Michelin- star restaurants for parents to attend with their babies for a cool $125 per head tasting menu. Some couples plan kids’ menus, virgin cocktails and activities including rooms full of bunnies and puppies and video game stations for their wedding receptions.

So, what should parents expect when it comes to hospitality – both in terms of the industry and among friends?

Etiquette experts tend to agree on one golden rule: you should never assume you kids are welcome somewhere that’s traditionally adultsonly in nature, and you should never pressure a host to accommodate your offspring. One delicate way of handling an adults-only invite is to respond by saying you’d love to attend, but your child isn’t ready for a sitter or you can’t arrange for a sitter. This puts the ball in the host’s court, allowing them to politely accept your decline or let you know that your little one is welcome.

On the flip side, hosts shouldn’t feel like misanthropic trolls because they want to host an adultsonly gathering. However, it’s important to be clear about your wishes if that’s your intention. Diplomatic ways of wording this request include, “For the enjoyment of all children have not been invited,” or, “We love your kids too, but tonight is for grown- ups only.” On a wedding invite, you could write, “We regret we are unable to cater for children at the reception.”

No matter how tactfully a host deals with such a situation, however, there are some psychologists ( and internet commenters) who remain adamantly against childfree public spaces, even going as far to call their rise “baby apartheid.” They would suggest that it can make kids feel like undesirables or second- class citizens and robs society of opportunities to engage in communal child rearing, practice tolerance and empathize with others. Kids and adults alike benefit from interacting with each other, and exposing youngsters to diverse cultural, culinary and social experiences can be key to their development as global citizens.

When it comes to the hospitality industry at home, the landscape is even more difficult to traverse. Legally, the question of whether a Canadian establishment can discriminate based solely on age is up in the air. In 2010, an Ottawa mother filed a human rights complaint against a fashionable restaurant who turned away her and her child. They reached a private settlement, so no court was able to give an official ruling on the matter. However, it’s worth noting the place in question now admits kids.

At the end of the day, there’s no easy answer about where and when it’s appropriate to bring your little ankle- biter. The best way to avoid issues is to research whether kidfriendly amenities such as kids’ menus, childcare or activities meant to entertain wee ones are being offered. If they aren’t, it’s best to proceed with caution, communicate clearly and remember your child isn’t being personally targeted.

The world will be a much friendlier place for grown- ups and minors alike if we could exercise a little empathy, a dash of self- restraint and stop acting like the very children we’re fighting over.