TOO HOT FOR MCD’S

National Post (Latest Edition) - - WEEKEND POST - cl Mcne audi a illy

When it comes to break­fast, there is al­most noth­ing bet­ter than an Egg McMuf­fin. The godly ar­range­ment of egg, ham and melt­ing Amer­i­can cheese fes­tooned to­gether with a warm English muf­fin is both the pla­tonic ideal and the gold stan­dard of break­fast sand­wiches. But in all my years of mar­veling at the hum­ble McMuf­fin, some­thing has al­ways been miss­ing: there has never been any hot sauce to slather on top.

McDon­ald’s al­ready boasts an ar­ray of Sweet ‘ N Sour, Tangy Bar­be­cue, Honey Mus­tard, Hot Mus­tard and Tar­tar sauce op­tions — all condi­ments that are ar­guably more niche than plain old hot sauce. So, why has hot sauce not been added? There seemed to be hope when the chain un­veiled an up­dated menu with spicy of­fer­ings like a gua­camole and jalapeno grilled chicken sand­wich and minia­ture McTaster burg­ers in Thai Sweet Chili and French Di­jon va­ri­eties. But in­stead of serv­ing as ex­cit­ing flavour de­vel­op­ments, the items feel like tak­ing a long and wind­ing road to a sim­ple des­ti­na­tion. If McDon­ald’s wants to serve spicy food, then it should start by of­fer­ing hot sauce. Af­ter reach­ing out to McDon­ald’s rep­re­sen­ta­tives, no one was able to pro­vide an an­swer about the miss­ing sauce. This led me to be­lieve the chain’s decades-long hot sauce ab­sence has been a gross over­sight; the type of omis­sion that should force McDon­ald’s to ques­tion the fab­ric of its be­ing, the foun­da­tion on which it was built.

Another ex­pla­na­tion is that McDon­ald’s has yet to find the per­fect hot sauce recipe. The fast food chain, which makes all of its own sauces, seems to dis­like out­sourc­ing condi­ments. But you can’t tell me that the same com­pany that in­vented Big Mac Sauce, one of the 20th cen­tury’s great­est con­tri­bu­tions to the culi­nary land­scape, doesn’t have the where­withal to cre­ate at least one pas­si­ble spicy sauce.

If noth­ing else, McDon­ald’s com­plete ne­glect to­ward hot sauce can be in­ter­preted as an ex­pres­sion of ni­hilism, con­firm­ing that some­times life’s great­est mys­ter­ies have lit­tle to no mean­ing. But this is an im­por­tant mat­ter, not a forced les­son in phi­los­o­phy. McDon­ald’s, if you’re lis­ten­ing, please add hot sauce to your menu. Even if it’s only on the break­fast menu. Just as long as break­fast con­tin­ues to be served all day.

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