TOO HOT FOR MCD’S
When it comes to breakfast, there is almost nothing better than an Egg McMuffin. The godly arrangement of egg, ham and melting American cheese festooned together with a warm English muffin is both the platonic ideal and the gold standard of breakfast sandwiches. But in all my years of marveling at the humble McMuffin, something has always been missing: there has never been any hot sauce to slather on top.
McDonald’s already boasts an array of Sweet ‘ N Sour, Tangy Barbecue, Honey Mustard, Hot Mustard and Tartar sauce options — all condiments that are arguably more niche than plain old hot sauce. So, why has hot sauce not been added? There seemed to be hope when the chain unveiled an updated menu with spicy offerings like a guacamole and jalapeno grilled chicken sandwich and miniature McTaster burgers in Thai Sweet Chili and French Dijon varieties. But instead of serving as exciting flavour developments, the items feel like taking a long and winding road to a simple destination. If McDonald’s wants to serve spicy food, then it should start by offering hot sauce. After reaching out to McDonald’s representatives, no one was able to provide an answer about the missing sauce. This led me to believe the chain’s decades-long hot sauce absence has been a gross oversight; the type of omission that should force McDonald’s to question the fabric of its being, the foundation on which it was built.
Another explanation is that McDonald’s has yet to find the perfect hot sauce recipe. The fast food chain, which makes all of its own sauces, seems to dislike outsourcing condiments. But you can’t tell me that the same company that invented Big Mac Sauce, one of the 20th century’s greatest contributions to the culinary landscape, doesn’t have the wherewithal to create at least one passible spicy sauce.
If nothing else, McDonald’s complete neglect toward hot sauce can be interpreted as an expression of nihilism, confirming that sometimes life’s greatest mysteries have little to no meaning. But this is an important matter, not a forced lesson in philosophy. McDonald’s, if you’re listening, please add hot sauce to your menu. Even if it’s only on the breakfast menu. Just as long as breakfast continues to be served all day.