National Post

How not to let off steam at the office

- SH aron Sc Hweitzer Financial Post Sharon Schweitzer is an internatio­nal business etiquette expert, author and the founder of Access to Culture.

Whether it’s your first day on the job, or you’re celebratin­g many years with a company, it’s important to know the culture of the organizati­on, and how your language is perceived by workplace colleagues and clients.

Consider these tips before deciding whether it’s okay to loosen your profanity filter at work.

Know your organizati­onal culture. Profanity in the workplace is a matter of culture. It may vary based on policy, both written and unwritten, as well as leadership. Observe and l i sten carefully. It may be 100- percent unprofessi­onal in some offices, while other offices may have cursing embedded in their conduct.

Nothing is a secret. Even after hours, when teammates are relaxing, enjoying a drink and having a good time, watch your mouth. Remember, en vino veritas translates to “in wine there is truth.” Expect any comments made to be shared with the powers that be. An after-hours event is just an extension of the profession­al work day.

Colleagues who curse are still perceived as less intell i gent. Current research finds that although profan- ity doesn’t appear to be an i ndicator of i ntelligenc­e level, people still perceive colleagues who curse more negatively. Although there may not be a proven correlatio­n between profanity use and intellect, it’s a matter of perception. Word choice can be a delicate task. Using emotional words that are profane or vulgar creates an emotional response in teammates. When you refrain f rom cursing, you are perceived as more articulate, mature, pleasant and profession­al. Most vulgar language is used as a placeholde­r for proper vocabulary.

Keep it in check 24/ 7. Whether you are a manager or an intern, lead by example. Leaders will notice the difference and may invite you to after- hours events to act as an ambassador for the organizati­on. It can’t hurt to lean toward a more profession­al and formal presentati­on of yourself.

Be a brand ambassador with customers. Clients listen and wonder if they can take you into their board room. Will you embarrass them in front of their CEO or their board? You represent your organizati­on, so embody the brand at its best.

Control your emotional reactions. Profanity is used when people become upset and feel the need to reclaim power over a conversati­on. Respond, don’t react. Responding is listening to what was said and formulatin­g an articulate answer. Reacting is your ego trying to gain control of the situation. Quell your urge to lash out; collect yourself and respond profession­ally. Responding after active listening also helps build trust through open and non- judgmental communicat­ion.

You’re human; it might slip. Mistakes happen. The more important part is how you handle it afterward. Some people opt for levity and brushing it off lightly. You can never go wrong with owning up to your faults. Apologize with a sincere, “Please forgive me” or “Excuse my potty mouth — it slipped.” Being genuine and using levity in your response leads to audience forgivenes­s.

Follow the lead, but use discretion. When in doubt, mirror and match the appropriat­e behaviour of leadership. This works when seeking to fit into organizati­onal culture. Gauge your behaviour on spectrums of personal comfort and office culture. Supervisor­s set the tone but stay within your comfort zone. Be a model of behaviour. In times of stress, demonstrat­e integrity with carefully chosen language.

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