This Kiss is on your list

Hey, hard-core KISS fans — as if there are any other kind — are you ready to rock and roll out your wallet one more time? You’ve already got your KISS Casket, your Mount KISS more poly-stone sculpture and, of course, your KISS condoms – not that you’ll likely use them.

But still, as a diehard KISS fan, you need more – a lot more.

How about hearing 150 unreleased songs from co-founding bassist Gene Simmons, featuring members of KISS past and present, plus rock royalty such as the Van Halen brothers, Aerosmith’s Joe Perry and even Bob Dylan?

How would you feel about not just hearing them, but owning them? Inside a massive 12 x 12 x 6-inch leather-bound book. A book filled with dozens of never-beforeseen images of Simmons throughout his 50-year career and 50,000 words (!) of untold stories.

That’s not all, fans. This God of Thunder is going to throw in a limited-edition collectible Gene Simmons non-makeup action figure.

Wait, did we say one limitededition collectible? That’s crazy. You’ll also get an “In Gene We Trust” oversized medallion AND a one-of-a-kind, hand-selected original piece of memorabilia from Simmons’s personal collection.

Did we mention it’s all going to be packaged inside a 17-kilogram VAULT? That’s 38 pounds of certified rockitude to house this collection that Dr. Love will personally deliver to each and every buyer.

How much do you think you’d pay for something like that? $5,000? $10,000?

But hang on there, rock soldier. In addition to meeting Simmons at a designated place in a city near you, you’ll join a small group of other fans to hear songs and stories from The Vault and gain the opportunity to ask him questions in person. And that’s not all. There’s more. Within a month of purchase, you will also receive via mail a Vault Pre-Pack featuring a USB that includes the first track “Are You Ready,” a signed golden ticket, exclusive T-shirt and a laminate. All for the low price of $2,000. According to Gene, himself: “This defies logic. This is the largest boxset of all time and when you do anything big, just like Einstein theorized but it’s actually true, the larger the mass, the more it bends spacetime.”

Act now. Don’t delay. This offer expires in January. Until then, it’s first come, first served.

To prove this is not a joke, visit www.genesimmonsvault.com for more details.