Can’t live with ’em or without ’em

MAKING A LIST: PEOPLE

Hell is other people, as the saying goes. And how much worse it all is at Christmas, when normally unobtrusive fellow citizens are suddenly everywhere — at the mall, at the grocery store, even in your own home, where they take up your guest room and offer terrible opinions on how to cook your food. Managing the holidays is really a test of one’s ability to manage these interlopers. If you can avoid the worst of them, the season becomes infinitely more bearable. So, without further ado, a ranking of typical Christmas company, from least to most inviting.

10. Estranged Spouses

British lawyers see such a spike in inquiries the Monday after the holidays, they now call it “Divorce Day.” But for couples with kids, the bonds of family aren’t so easily broken — even when you hate each other. A cynic’s advice: Negotiate holiday plans sometime around July.

9. Parents

By the time you are old enough to read these lists, the magic of Christmas with your parents will have worn off. However, now that you are also old enough to read the research on holiday shopping stress — which shows that intensive mall-hopping increases heart rate by 33 per cent (or as much as running a marathon) — have a little sympathy, will you? The magic you felt came at a cost.

8. In- laws

The novelty factor keeps the magic alive ( for a while). Research suggests that a close relationship to in- laws can also reduce the risk of “Divorce Day” — for men. A 26-year study found that close ties between husbands and in-laws decreased the risk of divorce 20 per cent. Wives close to their in- laws, however, saw a 20- per- cent increased risk.

7. Step- siblings

A mixed bag. According to a 2016 report in Demographics, kids with step- or half-sibs display about 10 per cent more aggression than their peers. Why that is remains unclear — and steps, while sometimes awkward intruders or reminders of bitter separations past, can also be fellow trench buddies. Bottom line: a blended family Christmas is more interesting.

6. Siblings

Christmas is another chance to create the intimate familial bond that will survive your parents’ deaths. ( Best news: Although 15 per cent of siblings have “toxic” relationships, the other 85 per cent range from “fixable to terrific,” according to one expert in the field.)

5. Grandparents

All of the nostalgia of childhood, without any of the resentments of adolescence.

4. Co-workers

Now is the time to get drunk with the people you are actually spending your life with. The office Christmas party — if your company dares to host one post-Weinstein — offers a rare chance to work out all those sublimated frustrations. We won’t talk about (or, hopefully, remember) this in the new year.

3. Well- adjusted spouses

Marriages work a lot better when you actually like the person you married and enjoy spending time with them. According to a number of studies, just holding hands with a spouse can also measurably reduce stress levels. That provides a good excuse to escape with your spouse and have a laugh about how terrible your family is.

2. Your Children

Matching pyjamas. Adorable dancing. Sugar- fuelled squeals. Thwarted anticipation, followed by ripping paper and delight. Pretty much the only thing worth living for.

1. Your Sibling’s Children

All of the above, and then you get to send the bastards home.