Brewed awakening

How to not be intimidated by your fancy local coffee shop(pe) Claudia McNeilly

PSYCHOPATHS ARE MORE LIKELY TO DRINK BLACK COFFEE ACCORDING TO A 2016 STUDY IN THE JOURNAL APPETITE, WHICH FOUND THAT A PREFERENCE FOR BITTER FLAVOURS TEND TO CORRELATE WITH NEGATIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS, SPECIFICALLY ‘EVERYDAY SADISM.’

Merely walking into some independent coffee places can be a harrowing ordeal. Menus are often filled with tasting notes, brewing methods and bean varieties that read as though they’re meant to deter the average person from experiencing any sense of comfort from their hit of caffeine. They also tend to be populated by unbearably handsome baristas capable of detecting the odour of chain coffee emanating from skin like it’s an Eau de Perfume. And when ordering with anything less than overwhelming confidence, one would do well to anticipate their request being met with an indifferent scowl. In place of a comforting large cup of a regular old cup of joe, modestly portioned espressos and cappuccinos are positioned like a personal judgment on our tendency to over consume.

And yet, coffee is one of the world’s foremost popular beverages. It’s ironic that a drink enjoyed by billions of people is still considered to be one among the most inaccessible and niche topics around.

“We really want to change the idea that coffee is inaccessible,” says Adam Pesce, director of Coffee at Reunion Island, an independent café in Toronto. “We have more regulars every day because we try to disarm people when they come in. You can order off the fancy menu or you can just have a cup of drip coffee, and they’re both going to be delicious.”

But not every café can seem as welcoming to its patrons. Here, five of Canada’s foremost coffee experts explain how to order coffee like a professional from even the snootiest places around.

1: UNDERSTAND THE BASICS, BUT DON’T OVERCOMPENSATE

Pesce: “When it comes to what roast you want, the language of “dark” and “light” coffee can be confusing. As a rule, dark coffee has less caffeine than light coffee because caffeine gets burned off at higher temperatures. The longer a coffee roasts; the darker it gets; the less caffeine it’s going to have. We get a lot of people that come in and want to prove that they know what they’re talking about. I hear things like: ‘ I’m a real coffee expert, I only drink dark roast.’ Or, ‘I’m a real coffee expert, I only drink Americanos.’ A lot of the time they’re saying things that I would not associate with being a coffee expert.”

2: AVOID BLANKET TERMS LIKE “MILD” AND “BOLD”

Laura Perry, Green Buyer, 29th Parallel, Vancouver: “Saying you want a “bold” coffee can be misleading because it doesn’t specify if you want high strength coffee or a dark roast. Deciding if you like high acid or low acid coffees is a lot more helpful. Saying you want something “high acid and fruity” is a really nice descriptor if you like light and sweet coffees. On the other end of the spectrum, if you’re looking for a richer coffee it helps to ask for something that’s lower acid with nutty and chocolatey flavours.”

3: REMEMBER THAT CAPPUCCINOS, LATTES AND CORTADOS HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF CAFFEINE

Chris Durning, Café and Roastery Consultant, Montreal: “Understanding the differences in milkbased drinks is like understanding the ingredients in a lasagna. There are similarities in every recipe, but it really depends who is making it. Today there is no one right way to make a cappuccino. But most independent coffee shops will use the same amount of espresso in all milk- based beverages, meaning you’re getting the same amount of caffeine in a cappuccino and a latte.”

4: UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF COLD COFFEE YOU CAN ORDER

The three basic types of cold coffee are flash-brewed, cold-brewed and iced. Flash brewed cold coffee has been brewed with less water and left to melt over ice. “Once the ice melts you get an even ratio of water to coffee, and the coffee is cold without being watered down,” says Pesce. Typically stronger than a regular cup of drip, cold brew is made by soaking coffee grounds in cold water for 12 to 24 hours. The long extraction time gives the coffee an extra hit of caffeine, but it can also cause the drink to taste bitter and oxidized. “Cold brew is great as an ingredient,” says Pesce. “At Reunion Island our big drink over the summer is a cold brew and tonic. But on its own cold brew can be overpowering.” Iced coffee is, in short, a watery mess. “Traditional iced coffee is no good,” says Pesce. “The ice dilutes the actual coffee and you end up with flavourless brown water.”

5: THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO ORDER A CORTADO

A cortado – a shot of espresso that has been “cut” with a shot of warm steamed milk – is known as the coffee drinker’s coffee. Pesce: “People look at you like you know what you’re doing when you order a cortado, but it also lets you see if the barista knows what they’re doing because it’s hard to properly steam such a small amount of milk.”

6: RELAX. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ORDERING DRIP COFFEE

All over Europe, drip coffee is regarded as flavourless and unappealing brown sludge. And yet, the consistency of a good cup of drip is unparalleled. Pesce: “No one should feel bad for ordering drip coffee. No barista is ever going to make a coffee as consistently as a good, automatic brewer.”

7: UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN “POUR OVER” AND “DRIP”

Making a cup of pour over involves pouring a steady stream of hot water over coffee grounds contained in a filter. The gentle brewing method is thought to extract more of the grounds’ delicate flavour. Pesce: “Drinking pour over is like putting a magnifying glass over top of a coffee. If I am going to spend more money on a coffee, I’m going to want to spend it on a really good pour over. It’s the best way to taste the unique characteristics of coffee beans.”

8: UNDERSTAND THAT INFORMATION IS A SIGN OF QUALITY

Durning: “If I walk into a coffee shop and my barista tells me the country of origin, the farm, the harvest dates, the altitude and varietals of the beans, I don’t need to understand any of that info to know that the beans have value. The problem is that the supply chain of coffee is so complex that we haven’t yet figured out how to completely inform customers about quality without making them wish they’d just ordered a double double.”

9: TAKE THE TASTING NOTES WITH A GRAIN OF SALT

Pesce: “Tasting notes for coffee can be tricky. They can help you understand a coffee but too many tasting notes can be a bit of a smoke screen. One of the biggest arguments we ever had was when someone wanted to put Tamarind as a tasting note on one of our coffees. It’s like; no one knows what tamarind tastes like. People are going to look at that bag of beans and think we’re the most pretentious people on the planet. I see tasting notes that say ‘ Pomello, ripe star fruit, mint stalk,’ and it’s like: ‘What are you talking about?’”

10: BRING A REUSABLE MUG (OR AT LEAST RECYCLE YOUR CUP PROPERLY)

Ashley Tomlinson, Coffee Blogger ( thelittleblackcoffeecup.com): “There’s a lot of confusion around which part of a paper cup can be recycled and which part can’t. Some lids are recyclable, but the paper cups aren’t. In general, paper cups produce a ton of waste. I drink a ton of coffee but I always carry my own reusable mug. If I don’t have it on me then I just stay in when I drink my coffee. It’s the responsible thing to do, and coffee also tastes better when you drink it out of ceramic.”

11: IF IN DOUBT, JUST ASK

Andi Larocca, Director of Business Operations, Sam James Coffee Bar, Toronto: “If you’re really at a loss and don’t know what to get, just ask the barista what to order. Good baristas should be friendly, and no one knows a menu better than the people working there.”