The Grinches are out for Meghan. Sigh
So Meghan Markle’s going to have a baby, in style no less. Charming. No really. You might call covering an actress who married a nobleman the epitome of media triviality, even Neil Postman’s “amusing ourselves to death,” while grim things unfold unremarked. It’s not.
As it happens, the epitome of amusing ourselves to death turns out to be a real NBC story, at least real in the sense that I really got it last Friday, saying “Need some ‘lucky’ numbers? These have been Mega Millions’ most successful” and touting “6, 14, 20 and 31” as “just some that have been part of several winning jackpots.” (What next? My horoscope says “to be careful in dealings involving a friend”?)
Saturday NBC admitted the actual numbers, which nobody picked, “were 15, 23, 53, 65, 70 and Mega Ball 7.” So no 6, 14, 20 or 31, huh? (And maybe boldness was the right idea on that friend thing after all.) Then on Tuesday “Here’s what winning tonight’s $1.6 billion Mega Millions could buy you (and which celebs you’d be richer than).” Crucial.
Other grim things in the newspapers did matter, from Vladimir Putin’s fatalism to the disintegrating Saudi cover story about Jamal Khashoggi, which inspired Steven Cook of the Council of Foreign Relations’ immortal “They would have been better off saying that Colonel Mustard did it in the library with the candlestick.” Proving Chesterton’s point that the opposite of “funny” isn’t “serious.” It’s “not funny.”
Likewise, the opposite of “charming” isn’t “important.” It’s “not charming.”
The world needs happy endings. Finding true love and bringing new life into the world isn’t the only one, of course. It’s OK if you don’t aspire to it. But there’s nothing wrong, and I want to make this absolutely clear, with people who do, whether it happens for them or not. And it matters.
Facing relentless public scrutiny for the rest of her days, the Duchess of Sussex formerly known as Ms. Markle deleted social media accounts including the famous two bananas cuddling message. But who wouldn’t want such a thing in their life?
Relentless public scrutiny is central here. The Royals live almost constantly in the public eye, which magnifies trivia, tragedy and gaffe. When something goes wrong, they must face the music in the most excruciatingly public way imaginable. With an inspirationally stiff upper lip.
Another NBC item whined “Meghan Markle’s pregnancy highlights the monarchy’s outdated femininity standards” where she must “live her pregnancy journey in public — and with a smile — regardless of how she feels” and look good soon after giving birth. “It would be great to see Meghan — an apparent feminist — defy this trend, but if she doesn’t who could blame her: It may just be the price you pay for marrying a prince.”
What a Grinch. How’s it better to meet life’s troubles sour and petulant? And way to miss the whole point that the price you pay for marrying a prince is to be a princess, expected to set a graceful example even if you feel sick.
As for “How will the Duchess of Sussex approach maternity style?”, it matters what you wear, regardless of circumstance. OK, a funeral home once asked how someone should be dressed for cremation and all I could manage was “it should go with orange.” But watching someone else dress well can help us all be a bit less the old sack of spuds.
Sure, she’s got staff. But the point isn’t that the Royals rise above circumstance because they’re different from us. It’s that they do it because they’re not. Hence Meghan Markle’s unlikely royal wedding helps any girl feel like a princess at hers.
Now consider her prince. If you thinking navigating the birth canal is the last significant challenge a “privileged” person faces you know remarkably little about life, or the news. Harry’s parents’ marriage disintegrated, and his mother died, in a 10,000-watt glare of publicity in which he then spiralled into emotional numbness and substance abuse. But look also at his apparently happy ending, not through self-indulgence or self-pity but the stern call of duty as a frontline soldier in wartime.
Meanwhile the Queen has never given an interview. What an example in the age of the selfie, Facebook and that thing where people post the meal they’re about to eat. It’s all about meeeeeeeeee. (Like Québec solidaire MNAs taking the oath to the Queen in private, as if that made us any less a Constitutional monarchy.)
You might think being a princess is all about me too. It’s not. You get fancy tea cups. But actress Meghan Markle could have done pretty much anything she wanted. The Duchess of Sussex gave up that freedom not for a pampered life but for duty. Out of true love.
And now she’s expecting. Sigh.
THE ROYALS LIVE ALMOST CONSTANTLY IN THE PUBLIC EYE.