The Family Stone is my big red shovel. Here’s why you should make it yours

Towards the end of The Family Stone, there comes a moment when the tightly suited Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker) finds herself bonding with her boyfriend’s brother Ben (Luke Wilson). She’s at her lowest point while visiting his charming — but cliquish — family for Christmas.

While consoling her, Ben shares a dream he had the previous night: “You were shovelling snow. You were just a little girl in a flannel nightgown. And you were shovelling snow from the walk in front of our house. And I was the snow, I was the snow. And everywhere it landed and everything it covered. You scooped me up. With that big red shovel, you scooped me up.”

After trying her damnedest to fit in, Meredith has been shunned by the Stone family and Everett (Dermot Mulroney), the man she thinks she loves. But as Ben talks about his dream, her eyes light up, finally losing their steely edge. She finds solace in the arms of Ben, a laid-back stonertype, Everett’s polar opposite. Meanwhile, Everett has developed a fascination for Meredith’s sister Julie (Claire Danes), who arrives to provide her sister with emotional support. Julie is everything Meredith is not: full of life, confident, instantly likeable.

It’s the sort of extreme story thread only a rom-com can unspool. The stitching feels seamless, though, because of the film’s central plot point: family matriarch Sybil Stone (Diane Keaton) is sick. Her cancer is out of remission, and this is her last Christmas. Sybil is a ball of crackling charm and sweetness. So, it’s no wonder her children are clamouring to fill the absence she is about to leave: Everett wants to marry Meredith before his mother passes, Ben wants to find a shovel to scoop him up before he melts.

But complicating this scramble to fill the void is the family itself. The Stones are an intimidating collection of bullies and smart-asses. They love and fight hard, and they are not easily swayed. As Sybil tells Everett after she refuses to give him her mother’s ring to propose to Meredith, “I know you’re disappointed, but think how I feel.” It’s the sort of punch only a mother can deliver, that doubles as a hilarious sideswipe thanks to Keaton’s smirking delivery.

But the laughs in The Family Stone often lead to pathos. When Sybil relents and offers Everett the ring, the fact she won’t be around for much longer becomes palpable without being acknowledged. She tells him, “Try not be so perfect, alright? I’d hate to see you miss out on something because you have this picture in your mind, because you thought you could change something you can’t. I’d hate to see you not find what you really want.” Both sit on the kitschy kitchen table as he sobs into her shoulder like a child.

The Family Stone excels at transitioning from laughs to cries to laughs again. It’s part of what makes the moment Meredith, Sybil and Amy collide on the floor in the kitchen and collapse into laughter together as Everett chases Ben around the house so hilarious with every annual re-watch. The tension that’s been ratcheting up throughout the film is finally released.

The true tragedy of this story is that we don’t get more of it. I always wonder what happens to the Stone family after the credits. As Meredith’s experience suggests, it may be tough to be welcomed in and become a part of this particular family. But for one night, The Family Stone can be your big red shovel and scoop you right up. And sometimes, that’s all you need.