‘You don’t hear much about Canada’
What a pleasant surprise to learn from actor Brian Blessed that the Queen’s favourite film is apparently Flash Gordon — and that she watches it every Christmas, with her grandchildren. Achingly camp and bristling with special effects, it depicts Ming the Merciless being thwarted from destroying the Earth, all to a soundtrack by the band Queen.
The most impressive element of Blessed’s revelation is that Her Majesty has cracked it and found a film that she and her grandchildren can enjoy together. Deciding on a multi- generational watch is tough.
Everyone has an opinion — especially in our family. We’re all movie buffs: my eldest granddaughter, Daisy, is doing a film theory degree and her brother, Jackson, is about to start a college course in animation and special effects. My son- in- law is a magazine film editor. But we might all be in agreement on one film: Richard Curtis’s Four Weddings and a Funeral. Watch it with the kids, by all means — it’s warm, funny and strong on friendship — but start five minutes in. The opening is not exactly dialogue — just a stream of F- words ( 13) from Hugh Grant, who is late for a friend’s wedding.
Like my grandchildren and me you’ll laugh at familiar scenes and enjoy repeating the famous lines to each other — especially Grant’s declaration to Andie Macdowell: “In the words of David Cassidy, in fact, while he was still with The Partridge Family — I think I love you.” And we all have “something in our eye” at the end.
You might also want a tactic for the sex scenes. As a Welsh Baptist with a strict upbringing, I’m still very uneasy about smut, and there really is nothing more awkward than suddenly coming upon a racy scene with your children, grandchildren or parents all tuned in. Now the watershed’s pretty much drained away, sex can turn up unannounced.
I once did a swift channel hop when I thought a naked romp was imminent in Bridget Jones’s Diary, only to crash land in the middle of Naked Attraction, which is like a naturist Blind Date. Which is why it’s wise for grandparents to watch the film first.
My friend Bill remembers sitting with his grandmother when she was watching her favourite drama, Dennis Potter’s TV miniseries Pennies From Heaven.
No sooner had Bill sat down than the camera zoomed in on Cheryl Campbell and Bob Hoskins romping naked under the trees in the Forest of Dean.
Bill thought, “this won’t last long” but minutes — tens of minutes — went by. The opportunity had passed when he could have leaped up and said, “I’ll make some tea.” Finally, after what seemed like three days of sex, Bill’s grandmother turned to him and said, “You don’t hear much about Canada these days, do you?”
This has become the default comment among our family and friends for awkward moments on screen.