Four things about those big, trendy skeletons
Home Depot’s “GiantSized Skeleton with Lifeeyes,” as the product is called ( the eyes move!), has emerged as a curiosity — and coping mechanism — in a sea of grim news. On social media, people have professed a love of the four- metre- tall
skeleton. One tweeted about “the sexual tension between my bank account and the Home Depot skeleton.” Here’s an overview.
1 Competitive much?
When Justin Draper heard a skeleton was due to arrive at a Home Depot 110 km away, his first thought was whether he’d beat all the other people who had decided they, too, needed one. Draper peeled out, the Benny Hill theme Yakety Sax playing
in his head, and didn’t stop for gas even when his fuel light came on 50 km from his destination. He beat the other customers by mere minutes. And US$ 319.93 later, he was inducted into the cult of the Giant Home Depot Skeleton. But he couldn’t fit the 1.3- by-1.3- metre box into his small car, so the head went in the child seat in the back, the spinal cord and ribs rode up front. Everything else — tibia, fibula, humerus, femur, etc. — crammed wherever it would fit.
2 Supply, demand, hysteria
Jane Pfister, 39, a Canadian living in Switzerland, paid US$775 to have hers shipped to Europe (“Worth every penny”). Travis Steiner, 28, of Reading, Pa., bought multiple skeletons for his home but seeing the prices on ebay, resold one for US$ 1,400 — and the buyer “was ecstatic.” Shannon Osborne, who operates a pumpkin patch in Pennsylvania, had a customer offer US$ 4,000. She turned him down. “My husband looked at me, and I was like, ‘ Don’t you dare.’”
3 Skeleton crew
Punny names are popular: Skelton John. Boney Danza. Marrowlyn Monroe. Jeff Leboneski. Scary Potter. Albert Spine- stein, Agent Skelly (who has a giant plastic fly on his head, à la Mike Pence; the fly “was $ 15 and was absolutely worth it,” the owner says).
4 Personal faves
Your Post scribe offers these treats should you find yourself with a nameless pile o’ bones on your porch: Liam Kneeson, Dev Patella, Lumbart Simpson, Ulna Thurman, Isaac Sternum, Grace Skelly, Maxillae Pacioretti, Olly Femurs. You’re welcome.