National Post (National Edition)
The hunt for baby Kaydance
POLICE IN SAANICH, B.C., INVESTIGATE ABDUCTION OF DAUGHTER OF ESTRANGED SAME-SEX COUPLE
Tasha Brown calls her daughter Kaydance “a sparkling gem, a little miracle.” And then she begins to cry. Brown is frantic with worry, because her two-yearold is missing.
Brown began to suspect in early May that her estranged wife had defied a court order and fled Canada with their daughter, who was conceived with the help of a sperm donor father.
That suspicion was confirmed days later, when police in Saanich, B.C., discovered that Lauren Etchells, 31, a Canadian-British dual citizen, had managed to board a WestJet flight in Vancouver with Kaydance, arriving the next morning in Gatwick Airport, outside London.
They hadn’ t travelled alone. Also on board WestJet Flight 0022 was Etchells’ old chum and new love interest, a South African man named Marco van der Merwe, and a second child named Marcus, a son born to Etchells and van der Merwe just a month earlier in a Victoria-area hospital.
They have all since vanished. Etchells is now the subject of an international arrest warrant, in a case that was made public only this week and has British tabloids screaming about “lesbians,” donated sperm and alleged child abduction.
Van der Merwe, as far as police can tell, is somewhere in the Middle East, perhaps in Qatar, where he has lived for many years and has worked as a robotics engineer. Saanich police Sgt. Jereme Leslie says his department’s major crimes investigators have had sporadic contact with van der Merwe since Kaydance’s alleged abduction, adding that he’s been “less than co-operative” with them.
He did not respond to a National Post email sent to him Friday, but van der Merwe did reply to a query from the Victoria Times Colonist, claiming that he has, in fact, co-operated with authorities. “I told them I do not know where Miss Etchells is, nor do I have communication with her as she had broken off all communication for fear of being tracked,” he told the newspaper.
Brown does not believe him. She thinks Etchells’ mother and father also know something of Kaydance’s whereabouts. Police would like to speak with them, but they have also disappeared, from their house in Saanich.
Earlier this week, Brown held a tearful press conference at Saanich police headquarters just outside Victoria. “This is something I have to do,” she told reporters, reading from a prepared statement. “Kaydance, I love you. You are the rhythm of my life.”
Kaydance’s disappear- ance and the ongoing police investigation were kept under wraps for almost five months because police feared media attention might compromise the children’s safety. There was concern Kaydance and her half-brother may have been taken to Qatar, where homosexuality is not only frowned upon, it is illegal, and the children of gay couples could possibly be apprehended by authorities.
Without providing details, police say they’re now certain Kaydance and Marcus are not in the Middle East. After landing at Gatwick Airport, Etchells and the two children took a train to France, where the trail has gone cold.
Brown has posted an open letter on the Internet asking for help, under the title, Where in the World is Kaydance. The letter explains her relationship with Etchells, leading to their formal marriage in 2012 and their decision to have a child together.
The couple, both teachers, were living in Edmonton when they signed a sperm donor contract as joint parents and obtained a healthy sample from a “wonderful man” who volunteered his services. Etchells was artificially inseminated at home, and Kaydance was born in September, 2014. Then things became really complicated.
Brown landed a teaching job in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), where she and Etchells had previously lived and worked. Aware of that country’s intolerance of homosexuals, Brown applied in Alberta Court of Queen’s Bench to have her name removed from Kaydance’s birth certificate. The application was granted.
The family prepared for their big move. Brown was to have started work at a private school outside Dubai the following summer, in August, 2015. Meantime, she, Etchells and Kaydance moved to Nanaimo, on Vancouver Island, and they decided to have a second child, again through artificial insemination. They needed another donor. That’s when Marco van der Merwe came to visit.
A robotics engineer by profession, van der Merwe had grown up in Qatar. He befriended Etchells while attending school there; her family had relocated from England to the tiny Middle Eastern country for workrelated reasons. The two students became very close, and van der Merwe even proposed marriage to Etchells. She turned him down.
Yet all these years later, van der Merwe agreed to become the couple’s second sperm donor. He flew to Victoria in July, 2015, where the insemination took place. Brown isn’t sure if the procedure was done “the traditional way” or artificially. Whatever the case, Etchells became pregnant thanks to van der Merwe. And it soon became clear her relationship with Brown was ending, that Etchells was interested in van der Merwe.
Brown and Etchells agreed to separate. Brown cancelled her plans to move to the UAE. Then, in September, 2015, she discovered that Etchells had purchased airplane tickets for herself and Kaydance. Destination: Qatar.
Brown took steps to prevent them from leaving, going to court and obtaining an order preventing Etchells from taking Kaydance anywhere. That order was breached in May, allege Saanich police, and the search for Kaydance and her half-brother continues.
Brown remains on Vancouver Island, afraid for her missing daughter, concerned for Marcus, and feeling very betrayed by her ex-partner. “You think you know someone,” she says, her voice cracking, her words turning into quiet sobs.
WITHOUT PROVIDING DETAILS, POLICE SAY THEY’RE NOW CERTAIN KAYDANCE AND MARCUS ARE NOT IN THE MIDDLE EAST. AFTER LANDING AT GATWICK AIRPORT, ETCHELLS AND THE TWO CHILDREN TOOK A TRAIN TO FRANCE, WHERE THE TRAIL HAS GONE COLD.