FIVE TAKEAWAYS FROM CANADA

Canada By Mike Myers Doubleday Canada 304 pp; $39.95

Mike Myers’s debut book, Canada, is half-comedic memoir, half-basic history lesson. Ostensibly a book about the country Myers grew up in, more accurately it’s a book about living in the United States as a Canadian, and what that does to one’s identity. Here are your takeaways:

1 Unlike the United States, Myers thinks Canada doesn’t have a clear “mission statement”; since we can’t define who we are, others can’t either. An inability to identify what makes us Canadian (snow? hockey? Tim Hortons?), leaves us in the shadows of our big, self-assured American brother. But, as Myers kindly points out, we do have some selling points: Joni Mitchell, a hunky prime minister and poutine.

2 Myers argues that our politeness is what also makes our country safe. Growing up next door to Buffalo, he watched American news channels. Compared to the relative calm on our side of the border, Myers thought Buffalo was “constantly on fire” or in the midst of a “running gun battle.” The chaos that engulfs the States is still such a foreign concept to Canadians that even the most outrageous claims of deviant behaviour can be explained by saying, “it happened ‘ somewhere in the States, eh?’”

3 Though there are many famous Canadians, “nothing about growing up in Canada prepares you for public life,” Myers writes. It makes getting recognized in public an uncomfortable experience. For example, being spotted in a rural Ontario grocery store means a kid stocking shelves will take it upon himself to hop on the PA and announce that a Canadian celebrity is in the building. Being spotted in the States can be even worse: a fan may follow you into the bathroom while you’re having a diarrhea attack to ask you about upcoming projects.

4 What may not come as a shock to anyone, Myers writes that many Americans don’t understand what Canada is all about. While working at Saturday Night Live, Myers took full advantage of Americans’ ignorance of Canada, tricking colleagues into thinking our national currency is Canadian Tire money, and telling them Canada has its own Christmas – in July.

5 Wayne’s World’s Wayne Campbell is a Canadian character! Fearful that an American audience wouldn’t appreciate a dude based on a Scarborough stereotype, Myers disguised his Canadiana: Wayne is from Aurora, Illinois; there’s an Aurora in Ontario. Wayne plays street hockey and yells “Car!” – a common Canadian reflex. Wayne hangs out at a bar called Gasworks; there was a heavy metal bar in Toronto of the same name. And, perhaps most obviously, Wayne has a Canadian accent.