Going to ComicCon might help you break into the spy business

OTTAWA • Do you enjoy going to ComicCon? What about giveaway sunglasses or free popcorn? More importantly: Can you keep a secret?

Then a job as a digital spy might just be for you. Or, at least, that’s what the Communications Security Establishment (CSE) has in mind as it seeks the best and brightest techies.

An old-fashioned popcorn machine and free pairs of CSE-branded shades were part of the display at a government job fair Thursday at Ottawa’s Shaw Centre.

At the event, where the hashtag #secureyourfuture was prominently displayed, other agencies — including Public Safety Canada, the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS), the Canadian Forces, the Correctional Service of Canada and the Canada Border Security Agency — competed to woo curious job-hunters, more than one of whom was spotted eating a banana.

Though the Royal Canadian Mounted Police displayed Batman-like combat gear on a mannequin, it was, subjectively, hard to compete with CSE’s popcorn and shades.

A CSE rep explained the agency had tried recruiting at a ComicCon event for the first time in Montreal this summer — you know, because a lot of, uh, tech-savvy people attend ComicCon.

The recruiters weren’t allowed to dress up like the other cosplayers, she said, so that’s why they ordered a bunch of pairs of sunglasses. (Wearing sunglasses indoors is a good way to look like you’re the Men in Black, so that’s kind of like dressing up.)

Applying for a job at CSE takes nine to 12 months, according to a recruiter who gave prospective applicants a PowerPoint presentation. Don’t tell people on Facebook, though, because if you do, “you’ve just become a target right away.”

Participants had the chance to hear from an employee who helps protect government network security — even as the Canadian Forces recruitment web page was being redirected to a Chinese site. He was eager to solicit resumés.

At CSE, they do “special things with special data,” he said. “In the media, they like to be against us somehow. How many terrorist attacks have there been in the last 15 years?”

Offering no specifics, he was confident “I save lives with my keyboard,” and when that happens, “the next week you’re floating everywhere” because you’re so happy.

A CSE-branded Rubik’s Cube was your prize if you guessed how many passwords a program on the guy’s laptop could guess every second. (The answer? 1.9 million.) For fun, a volunteer created a new password on the computer and the CSE employee cracked it in a couple of seconds, shocking some in the room.

“The competition is fierce,” said one woman, eyeing a lineup of about 100 people, about a third of them in suits, trying to snag a seat in the CSIS session. Two casual young men could be heard chatting about CSI and humming its TV theme music.

An introductory video made CSIS work look like a TV show. “I’ve got him,” says a fictional employee following a suspect. “He’s at the bus stop.” The editing and music implied Jack Bauer was about to appear from around a corner and defuse a bomb.

But this is “not James Bond,” admitted one presenter. “We don’t have all the fancy tools.”