National Post (National Edition)
If parliamentary petitions came true, Trump would be banned.
There was once a time when petitions to the House of Commons would be given a brief mention by a sponsoring MP and then filed away in an archive, somewhere, to be ignored forever. But in the glorious and transparent Internet age, these petitions are now s
SAVE CEREAL BOX CARTOON ICONS
While Canada slept, our Senate was drawing up a bill to ban the KoolAid Man. Bill S-228, which had its first reading in September, would prohibit all “food and beverage marketing” targeted at Canadians under the age of 12. For Quebecer Jean-Simon Bui and several hundred signatories, a world without Tony the Tiger and Count Chocula will not stand. “These characters are part of our folklore and embedded in our childhood memories,” he writes in a petition, sponsored by Liberal Joël Lightbound, that calls on the House of Commons to protect “our collective imagination” from the Senate.
FREE THE AR-15
The AR-15 rifle — the much-maligned civilian variant of the M-16 — is classified as “restricted” in Canada. Just as it is with handguns, this means that the AR-15 can only be fired on a licensed gun range. The AR-15 doesn’t shoot more or faster bullets than many non-restricted Canadian hunting rifles, but it made the restricted list largely because of its military appearance and violent cultural mystique. Calling the gun the “most versatile hunting rifle in the world,” Newfoundlander Marc Bennett started this petition to once again get Canadians shooting non-paper things with their AR-15s. His efforts earned a pretty definitive “no” from Public Safety Canada. Or, as they put it, “the Government has no intention of using Section 117.15 of the Criminal Code to change the classification of the AR-15.”
BAN DONALD TRUMP Sponsored by the NDP’s Kennedy Stewart, this probably won’t be the last petition requesting to ban Donald Trump from Canada. The gist in this one is that Trump promised to ban Muslim immigration to the United States and is thus incompatible with Canada’s “proudly multicultural nation.” In a government response, Citizenship and Immigration Canada noted — ironically! — they’re not allowed to arbitrarily ban people from the country. As long as Trump isn’t a spy, a gangster or a war criminal, he’s cool. BAN DOG FUR COATS
There is one notable flaw with this petition to ban the sale of dog and cat pelts in Canada: It doesn’t appear to be addressing a problem that exists. At least, that’s according to the petitions’ official government response. “Global Affairs Canada was informed by the Fur Council of Canada, the national association representing the Canadian fur trade, that the council has an established policy that Canadian designers, manufacturers and retailers do not work with, buy or sell products containing fur from dogs or cats,” it wrote, adding “the Government is confident that the statements … accurately reflect the situation.”
11/11 “MORNING OF SILENCE”
The moment of silence on Remembrance Day has long been a touchy subject: Should it be one or two minutes? Should we stop public transportation for the moment of silence? Should it be observed in universities? Rudy Norman, of Burlington, N.L., has decided to cut through all the ambiguity by simply enacting a “mandatory national morning of silence.” After all, what better way to commemorate our hard-won freedom than by forcing all “non-essential businesses, organizations, and establishments” to stay shuttered until noon every Nov. 11? The petition, sponsored by Liberal Scott Simms, has thus far garnered 17 signatures.
MANDATORY FEMALE MPS
The 2015 election saw a record number of female MPs enter the House of Commons, but the gap between men and women is still 26 per cent. For the 62 signatories on this petition, the solution is clear: Slash the number of Canadian ridings in half. Then, in the 169 that remain, have people elect two MPs, one male and one female. According to Myrtle Green, the petitions’ creator, this “would guarantee that at all times the voters of our country would have the benefit of both female and male perspectives.”