OPTIONS: YES JUDGMENT: NO, THANKS

The question was straightforward: “Can I have the chicken and egg with rice, minus the rice?” No detail was given as to the whys, because frankly, the particularities were none of the server’s business. The answer was swift: “Sorry, the chef won’t do it.” The attitude was clear: “You’re a picky eater.”“It’s all in your head.”“Your need isn’t real.” So much in our lives is customizable.

Why then, should dining out with dietary restrictions be met with resistance? “You’re not gluten intolerant” has become a common refrain. A request for a bun-less burger may not even have anything to do with the gluten, but will be met with side-eye all the same.

In extreme circumstances, this lack of empathy can result in far worse than hurt feelings and uncomfortable exchanges. The Telegraph reported on a recent case, which resulted in the death of a 15-year-old girl due to a severe allergic reaction after eating takeaway. Police have held two restaurant workers on suspicion of involuntary manslaughter. According to the World Allergy Organization, food allergies “are among the most common chronic noncommunicable diseases in children in many countries worldwide.”

Unfortunately, we can’t all adhere to the “eat what you love” rule, as Ruby Tandoh recently encouraged in the New York Times. Allergies and intolerances, including gluten, have contributed to an increased awareness (and skepticism) of certain diets. But 90 per cent of Canadians are at some risk for heart attack, and diet plays a role in mitigating that risk. Additionally, one in four Canadians lives with diabetes or prediabetes for which dietary choices can play a significant role. The specifics of what and why people eat matters – to them. And that should be enough. Reasons could be medical, religious and/or cultural or simple preference, but it’s all beside the point. Whether you’re a bystander or member of restaurant staff, it’s not your place to decide what’s appropriate for someone else. Chances are they’re trying to make the best choice given the circumstances. Acquiescence is sometimes a very necessary ingredient.