Words can be cutting

We live in an era where getting injected, plumped, lifted and lasered is as common as dyeing one’s hair. But we all know there’s a fine line between “magically” aging like Angelina and going full Heidi Montag/ Courtney Love/Lisa Rinna. Ideally, you want to stop at least half a dozen procedures before starting to resemble a deformed human Barbie.

So what to do when your previously beautiful best friend shows up to lunch at the Four Seasons with eyebrows so Botoxed they’re approaching her hairline and lips that say anaphylactic shock more than sexy pout?

This is a delicate subject. Of course, your friend has the right to look any way that makes them feel good. Unfortunately, often cosmetic procedures creep up on you until one fatal doctor’s visit tips you over the edge and you’re none the wiser. As a good friend, it’s your responsibly to gently make them aware of this fact.

I must highlight the words “good friend”– if you’re not someone who would be included in your friend’s bridal party, then you should avert your eyes and keep your comments to yourself.

If you qualify as an extremely close friend, the first and most important thing is not to express any sort of judgment, no matter how you feel about cosmetic procedures. A lot of people get work done thinking no one will notice. If it’s good work, no one should or it should be very subtle. If she’s not open about getting a procedure, the gentlest way to point out that she may be looking more “done” than she thinks is to simply ask if she’s gotten something done lately. This will alert her to the fact that people are noticing the change.

The next best way to broach the subject is if she asks your thoughts on her new look. Answer by saying you don’t think she needs quite as much work next time or that you think she should wait awhile before getting another procedure. If things are really going off the deep-end, gently probe about why she feels she needs so much work done. Is she feeling insecure? Has she had a major life change lately? Is there trouble in her relationship? Helping her to address these issues will fix the problem from the inside out.

Ultimately, as concerned as you may be, remember it’s not your face. While you can certainly express hesitation and raise an alarm bell, at the end of the day you have to accept your friend’s choices.