BEWARE OF PIZZA ROBOT OVERLORDS

I remember ordering pizza at my grandparents house like it was yesterday. There are distinct memories of smelling the ink as we flipped the Yellow Pages to find the perfect pizza joint, feeling the tactile sensation of the phone’s buttons as we rang the business and smelling the fresh pies when we entered the establishment just as we hoped on the ride over. Those were simpler times when ordering and picking up pizza was a big event — not to mention dated with phone books and landlines — but does that mean they were necessarily better?

Recently it was announced that Ford Motors and Domino’s are partnering to test driverless pizza delivery in Ann Arbor, Michigan. If someone orders a pizza, the self-driving car will pull up to their home and they will then have to unlock the warming compartment with an order-specific passcode. Sure, it doesn’t come right to the door, but sometimes technological awesomeness has its tradeoffs, right?

Then there are the apps. Many major pizza chains offer the ability to order pizza now with a couple of finger taps while remembering your favourite orders for quick future reference, but some even take things a step further. Some let you track the delivery person in real time through GPS as the fresh pizza comes your way, while others let you follow the making and cooking progress with your phone or smart watch. There are even brands with social media bots that will automatically answer some of your pizza questions, no matter the hour.

All of this technological innovation has led to the question of why companies should bother offering such trivial services.“It’s a waste of time!” some argue. “Big brother is watching!” others insist while wearing their tinfoil hats. Honestly, I have a big brother and I don’t mind if he’s watching just so long as it means I can tell when my pizza has moved from the point of being assembled to going in the oven.

Even as a pizza purist — don’t mess with my food and we’ll get along just fine – it doesn’t mean I’m living in the stone age. Technology is a wonderful thing if it means quicker pizza and more convenience. Some aspects may feel gimmicky, but I, for one, welcome our robotic and automated pizza overlords.