Names that only sound offensive

Simon Fraser University’s sports teams are known as the Clan, a nod to the Scottish origins of the school’s namesake. But all of that will come to an end if a name change campaign by philosophy professor Holly Andersen is successful. Andersen understands there is nothing inherently wrong with the name, but wants it changed solely because it sounds like “Klan” — as in “Ku Klux Klan.” “This is not a history we can just wish away by saying, ‘but that’s not what WE mean by it!’” wrote Andersen on a petition that now counts 398 supporters. Inspired by this newly defined “Andersen Method” of “not racist but sounds like it could be,” the National Post’s Tristin Hopper has compiled a list of Canadian objects and places that may sound offensive, but are not. THE McGILL REDMEN

At first glance, the name of McGill University’s men’s athletic teams seems like an obvious slur on Indigenous people, similar to the Washington Redskins. But the Montreal university’s own research has determined the name originated in the 1920s as a somewhat lazy reference to the team’s red sweaters, and is possibly a tribute to the Celtic roots of university founder James McGill (a lot of Celts have red hair).

SLAVE LAKE, ALTA.

The name of this Alberta town has no connection to African slavery, and it has a contested connection to slavery in general. As the story goes, while on his 1793 canoe trek to the Pacific coast, Alexander Mackenzie asked his Cree guides what they called the body of water in what is now central Alberta. They reportedly replied that it was a “slave” lake, in reference to the Dene people whom they occasionally enslaved. However, another theory is that Mackenzie had simply misheard the Cree word for “stranger.”

HOMO MILK

For reasons that quickly become obvious, Canada is the only country that refers to homogenized milk by the abbreviated term “homo.” Some brands even market their partially skimmed milk with the unfortunate slogan of “tastes like homo.” Everywhere else, milk with 3.25 per cent butterfat is generally known as “whole milk.”

MOBY DICK RESTAURANT

Herman Melville’s 1851 masterpiece has very little to do with penis and much to do with vengeful sperm whales. However, being one of the greatest American novels ever written meant nothing to a Vancouver condo council that decided it didn’t like the look of the word “dick” on a sign. Moby Dick, a fish and chips restaurant in White Rock, was blocked from renting space for an expansion on the grounds that the name was offensive.

SWASTIKA, ONT.

Before it was hijacked by Nazi Germany, the swastika was a common good luck symbol — and a fitting name for a north Ontario town filled with gold prospectors. Provincial authorities attempted to rename the town Winston during the Second World War, but locals resisted on the reasonable grounds that they had been using the swastika long before it was coopted by some Austrian putz. Interestingly, opposition to the name change appears to have been spearheaded by prominent Jewish resident Roza Brown.

GRABHER LICENCE PLATES

The saga of Lorne Grabher captured the world’s attention. The Nova Scotia man’s family had kept their last name on a vanity licence plate for 26 years. That is, until the government of Nova Scotia sided with an anonymous complainant, and ordered the plate removed for being “socially unacceptable.” Grabher’s not going down without a fight, however, and will contest the order before the Nova Scotia Supreme Court in September 2018.

DILDO, N.L.

The name is owed to a 1760s surveying voyage by Captain James Cook. Given the sheer quantity of Newfoundland landscape features that required official names, Cook occasionally assigned monikers based on whatever happened to be in his field of view at the time. Back then, however, a dildo referred to any cylindrical object. A leading theory is that the town is a tribute to the inanimate wooden rod once used to affix oars to a rowboat.