Thechatter Exit rather than endure

Decorum has long fallen out of favour in the world of modern dating. Benching – the practice of stringing someone along through casual dates over time – doesn’t just happen to mediocre high school lacrosse players anymore, and our phones are all haunted by contacts we’ve ghosted – when you simply stop returning calls and texts.

But despite the infamously impolite politics of contemporary romance, one taboo remains intact: it’s verboten to walk out in the middle of a bad date.

If you’re seated across from someone with bad breath who earnestly tells you their favourite musician is Michael Bublé – you’re supposed to stay. When they let you know they believe Van Wilder to be cinema’s highest example of art – you’re still expected to endure polite small talk until the date’s conclusion.

Many adult daters have spent decades in the trenches. We’ve put in the requisite 10,000 hours Malcolm Gladwell says are necessary to become genius-level at something. As such, we know what we’re looking for. It’s pretty clear after a span of 10 minutes whether you could see yourself introducing someone to your family someday.

So why torture yourself by letting a date you don’t like, won’t like, can’t like inundate you with descriptions of their collection of Magic: The Gathering cards?

By humouring someone you find incompatible, you’re not only wasting your time, you’re also potentially leading on the person across from you. That’s why, when a date goes south, there should be no shame in tossing a $20 on the table and running out of there faster than Forrest Gump. It may sound impolite to exit midway through a meeting with a potential paramour, but being single requires stamina. Whether good or bad, dates are exhausting. Beyond prepping that charming anecdote about your nephew or obsessing over what outfit best represents you, it requires an inordinate amount of energy to put yourself out there.

And besides all that, there is truth to the adage that life is short. There are a mere 525,600 minutes in a year. Over the course of your life, you’ll have many bad days: there will be days when your boss gets upset with you; there will be days when you eat a bad clam at a buffet and get food poisoning. You’ll even have several bad hair days.

When it comes to your love life, though, there’s an element of control that you can take. When you’re out for coffee or kombucha with someone you dislike, don’t delay the inevitable. It’s better to risk coming across as rude than to let a bad date equal a bad day.

Forget the one per cent, Gunther IV belongs to the 0.01 per cent – and he doesn’t apologize for it. His $400 million net worth and accompanying lifestyle far eclipse that of the average person, and even makes those of Rihanna ($230 million), Jennifer Lawrence ($110 million), Brad Pitt ($240 million) and Kobe Bryant ($350 million) look plebeian. Of course, he enjoys the services of maids, butlers and chauffeurs who shuffle him from one multi-million dollar estate to the next. He dines almost exclusively on steak and caviar, and once doled out a cool $1.1 million in an auction for a rare white truffle. He also enjoys a customized swimming pool, estates in the Bahamas, Germany and Italy, and a Miami mansion once owned by Madonna.

Gunther IV isn’t a real estate tycoon, Saudi prince or finance prodigy, though. Gunther IV is the world’s richest dog. The German Shepherd inherited his vast fortune from his German Shepherd father, Gunther III, who was the beneficiary of German countess Karlotta Liebenstein when she passed in 1991. The growing Gunther dynasty, increasing by the year with the help of an experienced investment team, rivals that of the Kardashians.

The situation isn’t nearly as unusual as it sounds. The ultra-rich canine class is growing steadily, and includes the likes of Trouble (a Maltese Terrier worth $12 million), Conchita (a Chihuahua worth $3 million and in possession of a $8.3-million mansion on Miami Beach) and Oprah Winfrey’s five dogs, who enjoy a $30-million trust fund. than gowns for socialites. Ada Nieves is NYC’s go-to pet couturier, certified by the prestigious Fashion Institute of Technology. She creates custom orders for talk-of-the-town events such as the Radio City Christmas Spectacular and Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade. She once designed a LED-light doggie dress that retailed for $25,000.

“Doga” (yoga for dogs) is a real thing complete with instructors who will make home visits. Pet massage therapy is as normal as grooming appointments in certain circles and all-natural dog bakery chains such as Three Dogs Bakery are raking in $15 million a year in sales. There are now over 700 pet “aftercare” facilities across the United States that deal in elaborate funerals and cremation ceremonies. Bars serve alcohol-free Chardonnay for pooches at $12 a glass. The latest must-have accessory? Dog strollers that can retail for over $350.

Toronto-based dog lifestyle publication Get Leashed reviews dog-friendly luxury resorts, features whimsical pet furniture designs and writes about herbal tea for dogs. They even offer members-only events for owners and their canines, including a multi-course “Dîner En Bark” paired with fine wines at the upscale Böehmer Restaurant, art walks and a Niagara wine tour. The private club boasts over 250 members.

The growing cohort of pet parents treating their furry friends like people – and sometimes even better than friends and family – is a relatively new phenomenon. In 2016 alone, the U.S. pet industry took in $63 billion,