DND wants you, missing jungle hammock

OTTAWA • Flutes, handcuffs, bayonets and jungle hammocks: these are just a few examples from a $3-million list of items written off by the Canadian Defence Department last year, according to documents obtained by the National Post.

The Post took a deep dive into 9,234 reports of lost or damaged gear and weapons obtained from the Department of National Defence through access-to-information law.

And we found fire sirens, radios, “knife and saw,” gas burner stoves, parachutes, a fireman’s coat, as well as several pairs of snowshoes, a machete, a couple of filing cabinets, three berets, two televisions, a blue rain jacket and a green toque.

Some at DND must have faced under-caffeination as three coffee-makers are listed. Other cooking utensils included three pressure cookers, five stoves and an “urn” for coffee and juice.

Also missing are two flutes, a chainsaw, a bunch of cameras, five pairs of binoculars, a first aid how-to DVD, a “hammock, jungle” and a “fax module.” Not to mention a sword and scabbard.

During the 2015-16 financial year, military folks “lost” only one cellphone but more than 4,500 articles of clothing, from extreme-weather socks to gloves, tactical vests, eight pairs of mukluks and nine pairs of “white pants.”

The biggest number of items reported lost at one time were 1,066 tent pins, at a value of $36,457.

The biggest loss while “on operation,” according to documents, came from two air-sea rescue survival kits worth $23,000 apiece (possibly because they were used). Innumerable sunhats, combat boots and balaclavas were down for the count.

About 1,750 “militaryspecific” items and 321 “weapons and accessories,” worth $1 million combined, were also part of the list of losses.

Weapons included more than 20 bayonets and more than 160 knives (though many of these were labelled “tools”). Two 4.5-mm rifles were also reported “lost.”

Losses don’t necessarily mean items were misplaced or left lying around.

The defence inventory contains more than 600 million items and sometimes stuff labelled as “lost” was just retired. “In most cases, objects are simply damaged so that they can no longer be used,” said a recent statement to the Post.

Although most items fell under that category, there were also 402 cases of theft, 230 of which involved combat clothing. In one case, a work boat was “stolen from No Name lake,” the name of a real place in Ontario. A $2,500 industrial sewing machine was also nabbed, along with several knives. A “bad duffel” and a “buffle bag” were stolen.

Only 25 entries are listed as “damaged.” Among these, a magnetic compass was one of three items that succumbed to flame. These are just a tiny chunk of the $3,016,347 the department wrote off as non-recoverable losses due to “accidental loss, destruction or damage” in the public accounts.

The government, writ large, writes off millions due to theft, damage and accidental loss every year. In 2016-17, that amounted to more than $30 million across the government and included $12.7 million from the Defence Department alone.

THE GOVERNMENT ... WRITES OFF MILLIONS DUE TO THEFT, DAMAGE AND ACCIDENTAL LOSS EVERY YEAR.

Wanted: Two flutes, among many other missing things.