CFIB’S RED TAPE AWARDS PAINFULLY FUNNY

WORST-OF-THE-WORST FROM GOVERNMENT

Bureaucracy would be funny if it weren’t so painful. Who are we kidding? The egregiously absurd can also be pretty laughable. Ahead of Canada’s Red Tape Awareness Week (Jan. 22-26), the Canadian Federation of Independent Business has announced the finalists in its ninth annual Paperweight Awards that celebrate the worst-of-the-worst government agencies responsible for excessive regulation that hurts small business. Here are some of “winners”: WATCH YOUR STEP! A business owner working on a ladder at a construction site is told by an Ontario Ministry of Labour inspector that the ladder is illegal and he must buy a new one or be fined. What made the ladder, which was in perfect working condition, illegal? Wornout certification stickers. DEATH BY 1,000

PAPER CUTS Under the direction of Kevin Flynn and Bill 148 (aka the “Fair Workplaces, Better Jobs Act”) the Ontario Ministry of Labour has dumped a bunch of costly new rules on small business owners, including tracking the dates and times of every movement of all employees in and out of the office. PUT ON NOTICE A mandatory requirement in Quebec’s Pay Equity Law forces business owners to post a notice to inform employees that they will soon post a notice. The notice about the coming notice tells employees “how” they will be able to access the posting of the notice on pay equity. PLASTIC BAG MANAGEMENT The Montreal Metropolitan Community is adopting regulations to beef up the required thickness and composition of plastic bags. But individual municipalities of the MMC can adopt their own different regulations.

SIDEWALK TO NOWHERE, PART DUH

Last year, Smithers, B.C., earned a Paperweight Award for forcing a business owner to build a sidewalk to nowhere. This year, the town is making a not-for-profit do the same, all to comply with a bylaw that stipulates any construction/renovation project costing more than $100,000 requires upgrades to sidewalks — even if those sidewalks don’t connect to anything. GO TO JAIL — TRUE OR FALSE If a small-business owner refuses to fill out StatCan surveys, they could face heavy fines or even three months in jail? True. WHEN LIFE GIVES

YOU LEMONS The National Capital Commission (NCC) is another past Paperweight winner. Last year, it shut down a lemonade stand run by two young girls because they didn’t have a permit. This year, the NCC is making kids looking to operate lemonade stands along NCC bike paths in Ottawa complete a two-page contract indemnifying the NCC of liability and requiring the children to set up by 9 a.m., with permits prominently displayed.

BAD MEDICINE Quebec’s Ministry of Health has issued new legislation forcing pharmacies to disclose pricing structures on drugs to customers. Detailed receipts must now show the wholesalers’ margin and the pharmacist’s fees. The result: reams of paperwork and a direct hit to competitiveness. WHAT CUSTOMER

SERVICE STANDARDS? When a business owner in Nova Scotia disagreed with a decision made by the Labour Standards Division, he was offered the option to participate in a formal hearing in front of the Labour Board. He requested details of the complaint. It took six months to get the info, leaving insufficient time for him to prepare. His request to reschedule the hearing was denied. LATE LUNCH,

ANYONE? Prospective food truck owners in Ottawa need to have their business approved by a “food truck selection committee” and face so many restrictions around when and where they can operate, even the Competition Bureau says the city should lighten up. DON’T OVERTHINK IT

Ontario’s Liquor Control Board approved, then unapproved, the label design for Stalwart Brewing Co.’s Dr. Feelgood India Pale Ale, just as the beer was about to be launched. Why? Because its label resembled an ancient Greek symbol associated with medicine. The LCBO worried customers might think the beer had special healing powers. Not to be outdone, Ontario’s Ministry of Transportation threatened legal action against Ottawa’s first craft distillery, North of 7, for using a stylized 1940s highway sign as its logo because it looked too much like an Ontario highway sign. The Ministry was concerned customers might think the alcohol was being sold under “government patronage, approval and authority.” BORDERING ON THE RIDICULOUS Businesses bringing goods into Canada can face serious stress and costs due to unreasonable delays and poor communication on the part of the Canada Border Services Agency. In one recent case, a pre-Christmas shipment was held up at the Vancouver Port for more than three weeks. As a result, orders were cancelled and port storage fees were incurred, costing the business thousands of dollars.

This year business owners are encouraged to vote for their top Paperweight on CFIB’s Facebook page. The Business Owners’ Choice will be announced Jan. 26.