Nothing to tweet home about

Birdland

“You know Tom; he’s a mildmannered ornithologist!” So goes one of the more riotous line readings in this bizarre neo-noir about a Toronto cop whose husband is the prime suspect in the murder of an environmentalist and her exfiancé.

Birdland is the feature debut of Peter Lynch, a documentary filmmaker best known for 1996’s Project Grizzly, about Troy Hurtubise and his bear-proof suit. Lynch calls this one “an unapologetically demanding film,” so maybe it’s up to me to say I’m sorry for not keeping up with its disjointed narrative. Or its convoluted, non-linear plot, which starts with Officer Hood (Kathleen Munroe) putting up a “nest of cameras” — the film’s term, not mine — to catch her husband’s indiscretions.

Truth be told, there aren’t many discretions to be had from the characters, whose untrammelled libidos and multiple fetishes mean they’re forever jumping into bed with one another — or, if beds can’t be found, just jumping their bones in the dinosaur section of the city’s museum. Add to this the fact that two of the characters are almost look-alikes, and the answer to “Is he sleeping with ...?” is almost certainly yes.

I must say I enjoyed spotting the many bird references, from the obvious (Joris Jarsky as Ray Starling) to the obscure; Melanie Scrofano plays Merle, an archaic Scottish term for a blackbird, while her sister is Hazel, as in the hazel grouse. The song Lullaby of Birdland is also warbled more than once by the sisters. “Bird’s eye view,” crows Hood (as in falcon hood?) of her camera aerie.

But there’s less to like in the movie’s hyper-moody lighting and score, or in the always-dark-and-oddly-unpeopled streets of downtown Toronto, which give the whole thing the feel of an episode of Night Ride, a latenight staple of 1980s Global TV. And while it’s always fun to see the gaunt features of Stephen McHattie in a movie, he’s wasted here as an oil magnate with dubious scruples. From its lead who is “too beautiful to be a cop” to its flock of “inscrutable, Machiavellian” characters (again, the film’s words), Birdland is nothing to tweet home about.

Birdland opens Jan. 26 in Toronto and on demand; Feb. 9 in Calgary and Regina; and March 6 in Vancouver.