N.B. Speaker is sorry; for what, he can’t say

Well, thank God.

Chris Collins, the Moncton member of the Legislative Assembly and still Speaker of the New Brunswick legislature, has offered “my complete and unreserved apology for anything I said” that offended pretty much anyone, ever, the world over.

Tragically, Collins, whose conduct with an unidentified former legislative employee was the subject of a secret four-month independent probe over unspecified allegations he did or said something out of line, can’t say what he’s sorry for, just that he is.

He can’t say what he said that may have been “perceived to be inappropriate by the complainant,” only that “For that, I am very apologetic.”

He is sorry, but like Justin Trudeau, the PM and leader of the federal Liberal party, he knows that on our complicated planet there are various truths.

As the PM put it once, during a discussion of the Kokanee Grope (wherein 18 years ago, he was alleged to have behaved inappropriately with a female reporter), “I apologized in the moment, because I had obviously perceived that she had experienced it in a different way than I acted or I experienced it… I think the essence of this is that people can experience interactions differently.”

Trudeau never explained what “it” was either, though the woman involved has described it as him “handling” and groping her. Perhaps the PM experienced “it” as an accidental touch? A friendly reaching out?

Similarly, Collins said that “an overwhelming majority of the allegations (against him) have been deemed to be unfounded,” but that the “few” remaining “related to incidents in which I spoke in a manner that was perceived to be inappropriate by the complainant.

“For that I am very apologetic.

“I understand that while I may perceive my words to have been humorous or inoffensive, others may have a very different yet legitimate perception.

“It is important that those perspectives be heard, understood and legitimized through a fair and thorough investigation. To that end, again, I offer my complete and unreserved apology for anything I said that offended the complainant or anyone else.”

You see?

The unidentified complainant perceived that Collins’ unidentified words were not funny, though he perceived them as funny, and it’s important that her/his voice be heard and legitimized while his is silenced and delegitimized and he is more than happy to participate in his own degradation by apologizing for, well, something.

Now, I don’t know Collins, nor do I particularly wish to clamp eyes upon someone so acquiescent in his own demise and so mealy-mouthed. Nor do I even know who is the unidentified complainant, least of all if she/he feels validated and heard by this bizarre dog-and-pony show that culminated Monday in Collins’ sorry/not sorry.

And my sole interest in New Brunswick is that as few people as possible discover what a splendid province it is, thereby preserving its splendidness.

But holy Mary mother of God, can we agree that we have now reached the nadir, the absolute lowest of the low, of the #Metoo shambles?

There are but a handful of known facts about the Collins’ debacle.

One is that Premier Brian Gallant publicly revealed the harassment complaint in April, months after he first learned of “personality conflicts” between Collins and the unidentified employee. The employee was moved to a different job.

Gallant learned the employee was considering bringing a harassment complaint in February but didn’t actually do it until April, whereupon, in the modern manner of execution first, trial second, Gallant booted Collins from the Liberal caucus, though he remains at least in name as Speaker.

Two is that Leslie H. Macleod, an Osgoode Hall adjunct professor and a mediator, was appointed as the investigator.

Her report of course remains secret, as most such reports do; even the members of the Legislature Administration Committee, which apparently split along party lines with the Liberal majority voting to send Collins to sensitivity training and issue his apology, saw only a summary.

That’s it. That’s what is known.

What were the multiple allegations? Which ones were deemed unfounded and which founded? What words did Collins actually say? How much will the secret investigation cost? Who is blowing smoke up whose bum here?

Aaah, none of that is for New Brunswick citizens to know.

Collins’ lawyer, T.J. Burke, didn’t reply to an email or voice message Monday.

In May, Collins had announced he would sit as an Independent member while he pursued a libel suit against the province, but it’s unclear if he ever actually served notice or if he will. He may or may not run again (though not as a Liberal), but that decision, he said, will be made by him and Lisette, his lovely wife who stood behind him Monday as he performed his ablutions, and not by Gallant.

It is not known how Lisette perceived any of this. It is my fervent hope, however, that despite saying nothing, she too feels heard.