The Happytime Murders

The Happytime Murders

What can be said about The Happytime Murders? Well, it features a cop-turned-private-eye trying to solve the mounting homicides of the cast of a ’90s sitcom called The Happytime Gang.

Phil Philips, P.I. (Bill Barretta) is hard-drinking, hardboiled and says hardly original things like: “I was a cop, and a damn good one.” The cast of The Happytime Gang has fallen on hard times, addicted to unhealthy substances and lifestyles, but stand to make a killing in royalty cheques as the show returns to TV. Hence the murders — the fewer survivors, the more each of them will make.

Philips’ former police partner is played by Melissa Mccarthy, basically doing a version of her character from Heat, except that was written by Katie Dippold (Parks and Recreation), whereas this one comes from the pen of Todd Berger (The Smurfs: The Legend of Smurfy Hol- low). Mccarthy’s boss is a gruff lieutenant (Leslie David Baker) with a habit of suspending officers; would that Berger’s boss, director Brian Henson, had that moxie.

The pair’s investigations take them into slums, drug dens, porn shops and strip clubs, setting up two varieties of boring in-your-face humour: jokes you’ve seen done better; and jokes you really don’t want to see at all. Back at Philips’ office we meet receptionist Bubbles (Maya Rudolph, wasted) and client Sandra (Dorien Davies), a red-haired red herring.

The film’s frantic pace means you’ll be in and out in 91 minutes; less if you leave before the credits, which include a brief music video and outtakes that aren’t any funnier than the main feature.

I can’t think of anything else — oh, except the cast is mostly puppets. The director is the son of the late Jim Henson, and gave us 1992’s The Muppet Christmas Carol. This one is similarly full of felt. But I wasn’t feeling it. ≤