Millennials won’t buy canned tuna, either

Of all the things that millennials have killed — bar soap, “Breastaurants,” fabric softener, doorbells — their newest victim is a perplexingly unsolved murder. A Wall Street Journal article about the tuna industry alleges that millennials are killing it — not because they don’t like eating fish, but because they don’t own can openers.

“In a country focused on convenience, canned tuna isn’t cutting it with consumers. Many can’t be bothered to open and drain the cans, or fetch utensils and dishes to eat the tuna,” Jesse Newman and Annie Gasparro wrote.

“A lot of millennials don’t even own can openers,” said Andy Mecs, vice president of marketing and innovation for Starkist.

The story acknowledged that sales of fresh and frozen tuna were on the rise: “Just 32 per cent of consumers aged 18 to 34 recently bought canned fish or shellfish, compared with 45 per cent of those 55 years old and older, according to market-research firm Mintel.”

This raised a couple of questions for millennials. If they’re too lazy to use can openers, why are sales of fresh fish — which is much more labour-intensive to prepare—on the rise in that age group? Does the can-free generation also eschew garbanzo beans and San Marzano tomatoes? Maybe it’s … not about cans at all?

“Ah yes, Millennials are abandoning canned tuna because we’re lazy and not because uh, it’s gross as hell,” Jamelle Bouie, Slate’s chief political correspondent tweeted.

And Buzzfeed’s Tom Gara tweeted: “There’s only one way to get millennials eating tuna again: it needs to be in a bright white unmarked can with a single blue stripe running across the middle, sold only via online subscription for $5 a month.”

It’s true that a can opener is not as much of a kitchen necessity as it used to be. Soups and other canned goods often have a pull tab, so you can open them with your hands. And some types of foods that were often canned now come in other types of packaging — see tubes of tomato paste and Tetra Paks of condensed milk. Studies have shown that millennials are less likely to cook at home, and decluttering and living a minimalist lifestyle have been major trends among young people in recent years.

Here’s an alternate theory: Maybe millennials aren’t eating as much tuna because they grew up learning about how dolphins were often killed when they became trapped in tuna nets?

Or maybe it’s because they’re a health-conscious generation that worries about mercury poisoning?

Perhaps it’s just the unglamorous packaging and stodgy connotations of a can. After all, several food trend prognosticators have written about how chefs and tastemakers have sparked an interest in high-quality imported preserved seafood lately. But when they talk about it, they don’t call those sardines canned — they’re tinned.