CANADIAN SAD SACKS DUEL FOR HONOUR OF NHL’S WORST-RUN TEAM

Ottawa or Edmonton? Who has been the bigger embarrassment this year? Who’s more dysfunctional? Which team has embodied the loser-like mentality of Rocky’s brotherin-law Paulie, the bum who’s constantly getting booted out of bars and always making a fool of himself, the guy you’re apologizing for at the end of the night?

Is it a frugal Senators team that not only failed to re- sign Kyle Turris or Erik Karlsson or Mark Stone, but also traded away what could be the No. 1 overall pick in the 2019 draft? Or is it an Oilers team that has wasted two of the best years of Connor McDavid’s career and now finds itself in salary cap hell after firing its GM?

Who’s worse? Flip a coin ( and no, you can’t answer both).

The Senators, who have lost 13 of their past 16 games, are dead last in the NHL standings and don’t have a first- round pick to rebuild around. The Oilers, whose 4-2 win against Ottawa on Thursday was their third in the past 17 games, are ranked 26 th out of 31 teams, but don’t have cap room to get better.

The Senators traded away their top players, but have a cupboard that is flowing with prospects. The Oilers have the best player in the game, but no one else is coming up to support him.

The Senators don’t have a coach. The Oilers don’t have a general manager.

The Senators are cheap and lose their best players. The Oilers spend like crazy, but often on the wrong guys.

Given the choice, which team would you rather support? Who do you trust will turn the corner sooner?

It’s become a pick- yourpoison type of question these days. Both teams have tested their dwindling fan base’s allegiances and patience. At this point, I could see Seattle’s new franchise winning a Cup before Ottawa or Edmonton. And that’s a franchise that is without a GM, a coach or even players — never mind a name — and won’t be entering the league for another two years.

By then, chances are Ottawa and Edmonton will still be a mess. After all, with each passing day, more and more garbage keeps getting dumped on the lawn.

On Monday, a team that traded Matt Duchene and Ryan Dzingel to Columbus shipped Stone to Vegas, prompting Golden Knights GM George McPhee to remark: “Players this good aren’ t available through trade very often. Usually you draft a player like this, and you hold onto him and he plays his whole career with you.” Two days later, owner Eugene Melnyk announced that plans for a new downtown arena were toast.

And on Friday, a day after GM Pierre Dorion told Postmedia’s Bruce Garrioch that head coach Guy Boucher’s job was safe until the end of the season, Ottawa fired its head coach and then shovelled dirt on him by releasing a press release outlining in detail the many qualifications that they were now looking for — qualifications that they insinuated Boucher was lacking — in a new bench boss.

It was insulting. And for a team that has 20 games remaining and nothing really to play for, it was uncalled for.

So to recap: in the last five days, the Senators have lost their three best forwards, their future home and now their head coach. And they still have Eugene Melnyk as their owner. In other words, we might need to update this column on Saturday or on Sunday when the next Uber video surfaces.

Stop laughing, Edmonton fans.

You might have the best player in the world — and another who is on pace for 50 goals and 100 points this season — but you don’t have much else. Peter Chiarelli made sure of that. While Chiarelli is gone from Edmonton, the mess he left behind lives on. The former Oilers GM traded away Taylor Hall, overpaid for a pasthis- prime Milan Lucic and re-signed a goalie to a threeyear, US$ 13.5- million contract after he had played in just 32 games in the NHL.

On Thursday, Jesse Puljujarvi, whom Chiarelli selected two spots ahead of Matthew Tkachuk in the 2016 draft, was shutdown for hip surgery. Then again, with four goals and nine points this season, it seemed like his season — and potentially his career — was shut down long ago.

Rubbing salt in the wound for fans of the Oilers and Senators is that the other teams in Ontario and Alberta are enjoying unbridled success and showing how a properly managed team can lead to sustained success.

The Calgary Flames, who also missed the playoffs last year and finished with one more win than Edmonton, now have the best record in the Western Conference. The Toronto Maple Leafs, meanwhile, not only broke the bank in re-signing Auston Matthews and William Nylander this year, but also convinced John Tavares to take less money to play in Toronto.

That’s in addition to a Winnipeg Jets team that has the fourth-best record in the Western Conference standings after reaching the conference final a year ago, not to mention the surprising success of a Montreal Canadiens team is hanging onto a wild-card spot in the East after finishing with the fourthworst record in the NHL last season.

Even the Vancouver Canucks, who have lost 10 of 13 to drop out of playoff contention, seem to have a brighter future these days. At least they have their first- round draft pick and cap space, as well as Calder Trophy favourite Elias Pettersson.

What do the Senators or Oilers have?

Well, seemingly a lot of patience. But even that has to be wearing thin these days.