How to make sure you are heard

We all know mental health problems are rife now, and only set to rise. It's no wonder — after six months of living a radically different lifestyle, we face further uncertainty, the possibility of more restrictions, and for many, loss of jobs and income.

According to a recent Office for National Statistics (ONS) survey, the age groups suffering most from anxiety in Britain are the over 65s, and younger adults.

A survey of 16,338 people by MIND in April and May found half of adults and over two thirds of young people — particularly those with eating disorders, personality disorders and OCD — have experienced a worsening of their conditions. Respondents attributed this primarily to the imposed restrictions both social and physical.

More worryingly, one in three adults and one in four young people didn't try to access mental health services because they didn't think they deserved support. Of those who did, one in four failed to receive help. Meanwhile, the most common coping strategies were over- or undereating, using alcohol or drugs, self-harming, and — thankfully — connecting with family and friends online.

Although connecting online has been a popular coping technique, a number of respondents said phone/video technology was a reason they didn't access mental health services. This suggests mental health services should offer help to small groups of people who already know one another rather than to individuals.

There's also a need for assertiveness among those who'd like help.

If you're feeling depressed, particularly if you're also suffering low self-esteem, it's common to assume you're not “worthy” of support. But the truth is, we inflict more suffering to ourselves, and risk lowering self-esteem even further, when we're not explicit about our needs, as Keith Petrie and Mary Jane Rotheram at Massey University in New Zealand found. They asked 106 firefighters to record levels of occupational stress and general anxiety. Stress levels didn't vary significantly according to participants' job rank, job experience or personal life circumstances. However, those who were more assertive had higher self-esteem and reported significantly lower stress.

How can you become more assertive so you can seek the help you deserve?

Be prepared. Write down what you intend to say. Is your request clear and precise? Then practise it — out loud — until you feel confident.

Pay attention to the words you use. Instead of complaining, or blaming others, explain what you want in positive terms. Make your request clear and specific, without apology.

Persevere. Everyone is currently under pressure and may be slow to respond. Keep asking, politely but persistently.