RADHIKA SEKAR

has a PhD in religious studies and taught Hinduism at Carleton University. She is a disciple of the Sri Ramakrishna Mission.

To err is human but to forgive divine! Your neighbour forgetting to return your shovel is an error. But it’s a downright crime if he/she runs over your dog (hypothetical example), albeit accidentally. And shooting kindergartners, planting bombs at marathons, sex abuse, holocausts, genocides, ethnic cleansing are “insurmountable” injuries that attack the soul! Do we really have to forgive all these criminals?

The quick answer — “yes.” Not so much for the benefit of the criminals as for ourselves.

From a karmic perspective, wrongdoing cannot be absolved and expunged by remorse. All actions have repercussions and repentance; atonement and appealing to God’s grace can only lighten the burden of karmic restitution.

But not forgiving sustains feelings of hate, resentment, ill will, fear, anxiety and perhaps even vengeance. These negative emotions create an identity around the pain that begins to define the injured, preventing him/her from moving on. It can also make you physically sick. Thus forgiveness is essential for true healing.

Forgiveness is not acceptance or condoning someone’s bad behaviour. Nor is it necessarily forgetting. In fact, it is wise to remember and learn from the incident so that we do not repeat the situation. Forgiveness simply allows us to let go of the hold that person has on us so that we can get on with our lives.

There is no exact equivalent for “forgiveness” in Sanskrit. The word generally used is “kshama,” which is “forbearance” and includes forgiveness, acceptance and compassion.

Forgiveness is a very personal spiritual response and takes time to develop. The injured must with great effort come to terms, not only with the criminal but the crime itself and understand its context with dispassion.

However, it is not an intellectual exercise that can be taught. It occurs spontaneously as an epiphany, when one is ready.