What are we to think when our prayers aren’t answered?

Rev. JOHN COUNSELL

is lead pastor at Vanier Community Church and host of Late Night Counsell weeknights on 580 CFRA.

First of all, I think to assume that just because God seems silent or you’re not getting what you prayed, it doesn’t mean your prayers have gone unanswered. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve thanked God for not giving me what I asked for. He knew what was best and didn’t give it to me until the right time.

God knows us better than we know ourselves. That can be tough to accept if you are not in relationship with Him and you don’t know the benefit of his daily (hourly) guidance and direction.

Revelation 3:20 says that Christ stands at our heart’s door knocking, wanting to come in and share His life with us, and for us to share our life with Him. He also says that He comes to us that we would have life and have it to the full. Why is it that when we come to the topic of prayer God gets reduced to a “cosmic bellhop” or a “celestial vending” machine? Do we expect to push the button (prayer) and out comes our neatly packaged answer?

Scripture uses marriage to illustrate what our relationship to God can be. Imagine a marriage where one party is constantly expecting the other to give them what they want, when they want it. Not healthy. Too many use God like a glorified fire extinguisher, hanging on the wall for all to see but ignored unless there’s a crisis. Can you imagine a marriage working with such expectations?

When it comes to prayer, spiritual authority is not obtained (think fire extinguisher), it is maintained, like a reservoir of rich experiences in a growing, thriving relationship. If all you want is answers when you can know the “answerer,” you’re settling for way too little.

Rev. KEVIN FLYNN

is an Anglican priest and director of the Anglican studies program at Saint Paul University.

Iexpect you mean by your question, “What are we to think when we don’t get what we want when we pray.” What are children to think when their parents don’t give them all the toys and candy that they ask for?

At a childish level, they may be frustrated, angry, even hurt. As they mature, however, they come to understand that their parents have always had their best interests at heart, and that a denial of one thing, even a good thing, is done for the sake of something still better.

As we mature further, even the nature of what we ask of our parents changes: we may ask what we can do for them, how we can show our appreciation and thanks for all that they have done and sacrificed for us over the years when we had only the faintest inkling of how deep their love for us has been.

Jesus said that God is even more loving toward us than we are to our children. “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:13).

This Spirit is the greatest gift that we can receive from God, for this is love giving itself, love returning to itself.

This is the love that “moves the sun and the other stars,” as Dante said. We don’t need a God who will behave like a cosmic bellhop, granting us every whim.

Although we tend to fall back to self-love and selfishness, but God draws us through every human love to the Spirit, so that all our loves may be purified and re-oriented so that we can offer lives of love for one another and the world.

BALPREET SINGH

is legal counsel and acting executive director for the World Sikh Organization of Canada.

For a Sikh, God’s will is perfect and should be accepted as sweet. But as humans, there are times when we want something in our current circumstances to change and prayer is the way we can achieve that.

A personal prayer in the Sikh faith is called an “ardas,” which means request or supplication. Ardas has certain fundamental components that must be present, such as complete faith and submission before God and trust that God is listening and has the power to do what we are asking. The ardas should also be done with a pure heart and with noble intentions. For that reason, the Sikh ardas concludes with the words “and in your will, may good come to all and may all be uplifted.”

An ardas performed by a true devotee never goes in vain. It will bear fruit.

Where a prayer is not answered or what we want does not happen, it is possible that one or more of the important components of the prayer were not present. Or, it’s possible that God in his infinite wisdom has something else in mind for us.

There have been several instances in my own life where I have sincerely prayed for something, believing that it was absolutely essential for me to have. When my prayers were not heard, I was confused and disappointed. But in retrospect, I realize that those prayers not having been answered was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Just as a parent cannot accept every request made by a child because that would not be in the interest of the child, I believe God knows what is best for us. So where it seemed that my prayers weren’t answered, my own experience has been that God has indeed given me what I wanted, just not in the way I expected.

ABDUL RASHID

is a member of the Ottawa Muslim community, the ChristianMuslim Dialogue and the Capital Region Interfaith Council.

Aprayer is a supplication to our Creator for help in times of difficulties. Our problems encompass a vast array: physical, emotional and spiritual. Above all, we desperately need His forgiveness for our inability to be always true to our religious tenets.

Consequently, Muslims are exhorted to seek God’s grace and blessing on all occasions. So, Muslims begin and end every action with an invocation of the name of God. The act may relate to work or leisure, matter or spirit, starting a car or deliberations at a meeting.

The Islamic view is that, even before we invoke God’s help, both the need and the request are already present in our heart, of which He is fully aware. By verbalizing the request in words, we establish a relationship with Him. We are in direct communication with Him without any intermediaries.

He tells us in the Qur’an: “Call on Me, I will answer you” (40:60). And the prophet of Islam, peace be upon him, said, “Supplication is the essence of worship.”

Muslims are advised not to concern themselves about the acceptance of prayers or invocations but to worry about making the supplication. Islam’s first and foremost teaching is to seek God’s help with absolute trust and faith, for He cherishes His creation. We are never to become despondent but keep our trust in God Almighty (39:53).

Faith and trust in the Creator form the bedrock of hope. Our Prophet, peace be upon him, said that God Almighty may accept a supplication when made or may postpone its acceptance to the Hereafter or He may remove another similar difficulty.

We should believe in our heart that God Almighty is listening to our prayer and that He will answer it.

JACK MCLEAN

is a Bahá’i scholar, teacher, essayist and poet published in the fields of spirituality, Bahá’i theology and poetry.

Today’s question points to personal prayer, particularly the prayer of petition, not to congregational prayer. The premise of the question is that all religious observe private prayer. This is not a foregone conclusion.

The pernicious effect of rampant secularism has not left religious communities untouched. Some also prefer meditation to prayer, especially those from certain Hindu, Buddhist or New Age persuasions.

Several reasons could account for unanswered prayer. To be effective, prayer must be fervent and frequent. Tepid prayers are not usually effective prayers. We should pray in such a way that we fully anticipate that our prayer will be answered. To the extent possible, we should also work for the realization of our prayer. We should strive to turn our prayers into action.

Our prayers may also remain unanswered if they do not conform to Lady Wisdom. When we petition the Divine Will, we should do so knowing that God is all-loving and omniscient.

If we firmly believe that we know what is best for us when we pray, we may be fooling ourselves.

This misconception is reflected in the popular cautionary saying, “Be careful what you pray for: you may get it.”

If I pray for some benefit for which I am not qualified, or which is neither proper nor timely, I risk being crushed by the answer to my prayer. If I pray, for example, to become the CEO of a transnational corporation when I do not possess either the experience or the constitution for such heavy responsibilities, I may end up paying too heavy a price for my ambition.

‘Abdu’l-Baha (1844-1921), the son of the Prophet-Founder, Bahá’u’lláh (1817-1892), and the authorized interpreter of his father’s teachings, pointed out that if prayers for wealth were universally answered, the order of the world would be deranged. Who would be left to farm, to build, to clean the streets or to run the trains?

Consider this analogy: The patient asks the doctor for a harmful drug, but the doctor refuses because he knows the medicine will harm the patient.

Similarly, when we pray for something that will not benefit ourselves or others, the petition may remain unanswered.