Soldier remembered as ‘a leader of men’
Warrant Officer Michael McNeil, the third Canadian soldier to commit suicide this week, was known for helping others.
“It was a big-time shock. He was the last person you’d expect to do that.”
Retired Cpl. John Kendall found out about Warrant Officer Michael McNeil’s death Friday morning, and during an interview with the Citizen that afternoon said he still couldn’t believe that the seasoned soldier who had helped train him in the art of reconnaissance had taken his own life.
McNeil, in his late 30s, was found in the “shacks” (barracks) at CFB Petawawa where he was on an IP — an imposed restriction.
In this case that meant he had volunteered to leave his permanent base at CFB Gagetown for a minimum yearlong assignment to the base he once called home.
”He was a good guy and a really good instructor,” said Kendall.
“He knew his job very well and was all about the army. It was his life and he loved it.
“You could always lean on him for advice because of his experience. He was a good outgoing guy and a typical infantry soldier — a little rough around the edges with a tough guy attitude. But deep down a very good person.”
The Department of National Defence, citing privacy, refused to reveal McNeil’s age, hometown or any details about his death or family. Nor would they provide the Citizen with a photograph of the dead soldier.
It isn’t known whether 19-year veteran McNeil had been diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder or any other operational-related mental injury.
He was one of three Canadian soldiers to commit suicide this week.
McNeil joined the military in October 1994 and was a veteran of three operational deployments: Bosnia in 1998, Kosovo in 1999 and Afghanistan in 2009.
According to Kendall, McNeil was the cousin of Frank Mellish, a soldier from PEI who died in a rocket grenade attack during Operation Medusa in Afghanistan in 2006.
Kendall, a PTSD sufferer and Afghan war veteran who retired from the military in November, said much of the “recce” work in Afghanistan units behind enemy lines and was both dangerous and stressful.
“We’d gather the intel and bring it back so they could develop a plan to do whatever needed to be done,” he said.
Kendall said he owed a lot to McNeil’s guidance.
“He was always willing to help anyone who was willing to learn,” he said, “but I worry that he didn’t have the strong support network that some of us guys need.”
Veterans advocate Barry Westholm, a former master warrant officer who quit the military last year to protest what he said was a breakdown in care for soldiers suffering from PTSD, said the approaching Christmas season is dreaded by troops suffering mental injury.
“When Christmas was coming, I always sent out a warning notice for our people to keep a special watch on those most at risk and track them carefully,” said Westholm, a former second-in-command of the eastern regional Joint Personnel Support Unit.
“We would call them during the day, even the holidays, to make sure everything’s fine and they feel wanted.
“A lot of guys with PTSD don’t like going to the base so we’d have a get-together off the base in the spirit of the season,” he added. “Even if it was Tim Hortons, it didn’t matter so long as they knew someone was thinking of them”.
Westholm, a PTSD sufferer, said Christmas brings “a profound sense of loss.
“PTSD puts you in kind of a box,” he said.
“You know what Christmas was like in the past but that has changed dramatically for you.
“It can be very sad and a depressing time of year when everything, such as financial and marriage problems, gets compounded.”
Chris Dupee, founder of the online help group Military Minds, agreed and said the traffic on his group’s website has been steadily increasing.
Military Minds (military-minds-association. has a public site where people post for all to see, and a “back end” where a rotating team of 16 volunteers handles private postings from often-desperate soldiers and veterans.
“We’ve been dealing with a lot on the back end — a lot more than we do normally,” said Dupee. “A lot of guys are close to their breaking point at any given time, and Christmas holidays can push them over the edge. We noticed an increase a few days back. The messages are piling in — usually they start with ‘I’m f----d and don’t know what to do.’ So we try to engage them in conversation.
“You got the financial situations which are big,” he added, “and going to parties can be detrimental. They are too used to being in their comfort zones and leaving them is scary. Seclusion is a big symptom of PTSD.”
Kendall said his phone has been “ringing off the hook” with calls from his former colleagues at Petawawa — those with WO McNeil in common.
“They didn’t want me to find out in the media,” he said.
The military should be deeply concerned that such a senior leader has committed suicide, said Westholm.
“A warrant officer is a leader of men and when a leader of men does this, it affects everybody.”