The National National Christmas Tree Poll

1. Where should Canada’s National Christmas Tree be located? A. Parliament Hill B. The Rink of Dreams C. Different communities across the country D. Individuals’ homes E. Hawaii, giving Canadians an excuse to go there every December 2. What sort of tree should it be? A. Balsam B. Spruce C. Maple D. Alternating among official provincial and territorial trees

E. Papier mâché 3. How tall should our tree be? A. 200 feet, so that the star comes to just below the clock of the Peace Tower

B. 146 feet, or one foot for each year since Confederation

C. 10 feet, because it fits easily in a Ford Econoline van

D. Eight feet, because they’re only $20 at Ikea, and they fit in the van

E. One-tenth the size of Washington’s, or just under four feet, roughly in keeping with the relative sizes of our countries’ populations 4. Who should throw the switch that illuminates the tree? A. The Prime Minister B. The Queen C. Santa D. Carlile Stevens and Dale Reamer, inventors of The Clapper

E. Anyone who buys the iPhone app

5. Finish this sentence: “Canada’s National Christmas Tree should...”

A. ... inspire joy, peace and happiness from sea to sea to frozen sea.

B. ... reaffirm the belief that all Canadians can live in companionable harmony, regardless of race, sex, age, religion, income or allergies. C. ... kick Washington’s ass. D. ... be able to withstand both Ottawa’s sub-arctic temperatures and the blasts of hot air that regularly blow from Parliament.

E. ... eliminate our national debt through the sale of associated merchandise.